Please leave your thoughts...I love when you do that!
The challenge on GBE2 this week is "Trust" and I am in the perfect frame of mind to discuss trust and the ramifications of both giving and expecting trust. So here we go...
Every relationship involves trust. When we meet someone new we immediately assess them to decide if they are trustworthy. Sometimes we guess right and sometimes not. But innately we decide. The people whom we deem trustworthy often become members of our circle of friends or acquaintances we enjoy in our lives. Those we deem not, often are never given a chance to get close. Why? Because we don't want to be hurt. People we allow into our inner circles have the ability to hurt us by their actions and words and those we keep outside, most likely do not. Therefore, trust becomes one of the first factors in determining whether or not we will move forward with a newly introduced person.
For those we choose to keep, the few we deem trustworthy, we believe offer safety with them. We can be ourselves and say what we think and know that they will do the same. We create give and take habits with these people and some of them become integral parts of our everyday lives and some remain on the fringe, nice to touch once in awhile and still very important to us. The close ones, the ones who 'get' us and support us are the ones who hold the most trust. They are the ones we count on NOT to hurt us. Yet, they are the only ones who really can hurt us. They are the only ones whose opinions and actions matter to us and therefore, they are capable of causing irreparable damage to our hearts, heads and lives. They have been entrusted with our well being and thereby have the ability to bring everything crashing down. Our treatment of our friends and family is the most important thing about who we are.
I find the people around me to be, for the most part, trustworthy and able to protect my heart. I find that I don't open up quite as easily as I once did. I have learned from past heartache to be just a bit guarded in my experience with people who are new to my life. I let them in easily enough, but I don't really embrace them until I see the redeeming qualities that I enjoy being surrounded by and will give back freely. The ability to listen when needed, the ability to give what I can, the ability to share my feelings, fears or excitement. The ability to feel what someone else is feeling and hurt if they hurt, smile if they are happy and help if I know how. To just BE there, if I don't know how to help. I want that in my life from my friends and family. I want to be able to reach out and find support when I feel weak. I want someone who will say, "Wait, let's think this over because you may be wrong about this one." No 'yes men' in my life, please. I need people of strength and character and I have them.
I believe with all that I am that life is exactly what you make it. I believe with all that I am that we are each a product of our environment. We are the person life has taught us to be. I hope life isn't done teaching me to be a better, stronger more compassionate person because I need more of all of those. I also hope life isn't done teaching me to reach out and be the support someone needs. I need to do more of that. I hope life isn't done teaching me ways to be more charitable, I certainly need more of that.
I want to be the person with whom you can deposit your 'trust account' and know that it will be forever safe and protected within me. To know that if I cause you pain, I will be there to do whatever you need me to do to repair or remove that pain. To know that if I caused it, I also feel it. There is a huge risk to giving or receiving someones trust. The risk is the pain, heartache and disappointment which may occur. In the end, it is usually worth the risk. Sometimes...it just isn't.
The rewards, of course, are self evident. Someone in your life who is imperfect, but steadfast. Someone who will ride the waves and open their arms at the end of the ride to embrace and hold you and your trust.