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Thursday, February 23, 2012

Being All That I Can Be

The Writer’s Post #36 ~ Writer’s Choice


Winter means staying in much more than is healthy. It means I am house bound by choice. I do not like being outside in the cold or the snow or the wind. The sunshiny days are better than the gloomy ones, but for me, they all pretty much present the same challenge. How do I get through until summer returns? One more day. Then one more. That’s the only way.

Life goes on pretty much as usual except that I don’t smile as much and I don’t enjoy as much. I don’t even think that I care as much.

I’m talking about the every day things that I really love in the summer. The clean house with the sun shining through it always makes me smile and cleaning it so that can happen, well, that just makes me happy. Cooking healthy and nutritious meals is fun when the grill is handy and not requiring a parka to enjoy standing outside cooking something yummy. Making a big ole salad with freshly grilled chicken or steak from the grill sliced over the top makes me down right giddy.  Getting laundry done early in my day so that I can have lots of time outside in the afternoon and evening, oh yeah, I love doing that.  I’m talking about little things like, coffee on the deck in the morning sun or even a light rain with the awnings opened.  The warmth and the freshness of the morning air always gets me going in a good direction.

Those are the things my life thrives with. None of those things exists here from November until at least April.  That’s tough for someone like me.  And I know there are many like me.
That’s why I write about it now and then. That’s why I write about it at all. It helps me to think maybe someone who is like me, will read one of my blogs and feel just a little less odd. That is how I feel almost all winter. Not sad, like many people think. Not suicidal, just odd and out of sorts. Blah, without any joy. If anything bad is going to happen, I feel like the winter and fall is when it will happen. I don’t look for it. I don’t wait for it. I don’t even think about it. I just know that anything bad will be much more likely in the fall and winter months.  Not logical since I have suffered some very sad and heartbreaking things in the heat of my beloved summer. More than a couple of them and yet, I never associate summer with loss. 

There are happy days in the fall and winter, don’t misunderstand, but they are the oddity rather than the rule. Summer is full of happy days with the rare off or even sad day.

Being the best I can be, means I have to trudge on and look for, yes actively look for, happy things during the SAD season.  I find them, too. I make some of them happen by choosing not to be alone.  By choosing to be with people I love and who make me laugh. It’s such a difficult thing to do sometimes because what I really want to do, I mean totally want to do, is stay home and sit or nap or curl up on the couch and do nothing. Some days I let myself do that and others, I have to take control and drag my butt up and outside for fresh air and human contact of the non-roomy kind. He indulges me way too much. He’s an enabler. If I wanna just stay home, he says, “Okay”. He works hard and staying home is good for him.

Being the best I can be, means I can’t be what I feel like being, I have to be what I know keeps me going. It means I have to convince myself to get out in the cold and do something even if it doesn’t sound fun. It will be fun. It will make me feel better.  It will help make this day pass because that gets me one day closer to my blooming and shining season. 

Jo




20 comments:

  1. I think the trick is to carry all seasons inside and try to be present perfect. Is it easy. NO! In the summer I am more of winter woman, in the winter I pine for Spring and summer. So, I've adopted to be the best and worst in any season. I strive for harmony. Having picnics on the living room floor really helps during the cooler months. Have a beach blanket bingo party.

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    1. Now there's an idea! Then my Roomy would call the men in the white coats to take me away. He already has them on speed dial, just in case. LOL
      Thanks Brenda, I've been dealing with this for many years, it's kinda second nature now, bad days and not so bad days. Ya know, ya gotta do what ya gotta do. ♥

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  2. I understand the winter thing--but I like the cooler weather ...I just miss the sunshine when it isn't out. I need me some Florida right about now :D Being the best you can be--is a great way to approach anything in life--you are wise Jo!! Cheers, Jenn♥

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  3. Sometimes it's all you can do. Thanks and I'm down with a few Florida days. ;)

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  4. I am an odd bird. I find happiness in all the seasons. Lovely little look into what makes you tick. Chin up, spring will be here before you know it! :D

    Kathy
    http://gigglingtruckerswife.blogspot.com/

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    1. You're not an odd bird, at all. You simply embrace your life. I do the same over the objections of my S.A.D. I choose to make this day matter, most every day. Come On Spring! ♥

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  5. We need to find you some good thermal liners and sassy winter outfits. It's lovely to take a walk in the woods with some snow crunching underfoot. And then there is that snowball factor!
    xoxoxox

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    1. ewwwwwww...that just makes my skin crawl. Crunchy snow, cold weather ewwwwwwwwwwww.
      I'll just take my fireplace and comfy chair until this all moves on!

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  6. I'm with you, Jo. I wish I could hibernate from January through April. When I lived in Northern California, winter consisted of incessant rain. Here in Northern New Mexico, there's intermittent snow followed by several days of sunlight illuminating shriveled grass, leafless branches and endless stretches of bare brown earth. I know several people who like the bleak seasons,but I'm looking forward to the long bright days of warmth and color.

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    1. I believe you have something there that a lot of people don't get. It's the bleakness, the lack of brightness and the bareness of it all, more than the actual physical discomfort, it's the feeling I get when I look outside. It looks like death and to my tropical loving soul, it kinda feels like that, too.

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  7. I know how you feel Jo! I grew up in Wisconsin and stayed there for 27 years. Then I moved to the White Mountains of Arizona and had 6 more years of winter. Now I live in Sunny California (albeit Northern California) and have more nice days than not. Usually it is raining this time of year, but we've had exceptional weather with very little rain. We'll pay for it come next summer, but for now, I am enjoying it as much as I can. I'm thinking for you though, that it might be time for a sunny vacation!

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  8. I'm so much happier now that I'm living in a city where the sun shines a whole lot more than it did where I used to live. It does make a difference! Sounds like you have some really great coping mechanisms, though.

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    1. Sun and warmth. *ahhhhhh, just imagining*
      I do what I can because this is my life and I don't want to miss any of it. Being miserable now and then reminds me how much nicer it is and I am, when I'm happy.

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  9. "...Summer breeze makes me feel fine..." That's your song, Jo and the writer of it escapes me at the moment..The name of the song is Diamond Girl.

    You're just a summer gal, Jo. I love summer too. Sometimes, I don't want to go out in the cold either, but when a must errand forces me to, I'm always grateful I got out there in the fresh air. But, I am like a cat. I do not like getting wet! Bleh! :)

    Take care!

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    1. I do love that song! I thrive in the summer and survive the winter. The cold fresh winter air is not something I welcome, but it's a fact of my life, for now so I deal. Rain doesn't bother me, but snow, oh yeah, that bothers me although I can see the beauty of a freshly fallen snow, I just want to see it, not be IN it.

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  10. Hey there! I don't know if you've already been nominated, but I'd like to give you The Versatile Blogger Award! You can pick it up here: http://pleasing2theeye.blogspot.com/2012/02/versatile-blogger-award.html

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    1. Thank you MB, that is a wonderful honor, I do have one on my blog from a few months back, but I appreciate the thought. You are adorable. ♥

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  11. I'm sort of with you on the weather thing. I'm like the Heat Miser, lol. Although I don't mind a couple of really small doses of winter...just as long as it doesn't turn into a long stretch of it with me slipping on ice and falling on my butt.

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    1. There is nothing besides Christmas and my birthday that I like about winter and to be honest, Christmas is falling off my list quickly. ♥

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