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Sunday, February 19, 2012

The Real Story Behind Jane’s Scar

Saturday night is usually a night for some quiet writing in her plush little girly office.  She has set aside this time for the last few years as her “alone time” for writing or editing or enjoying the works of her fellow writers.  This week, however, she had plans; big plans.

Jane’s main squeeze was otherwise occupied with business so she had invited her very dear friend Claudia to accompany her to a black tie affair to which Jane had scored tickets by doing some freelance work for one of the corporate big wigs associated with the fund raiser. Money was being raised for Aids Research by the Dowager Insurance Company and Jane had done some articles for Mr. Dowager’s Assistant concerning Aids research and how the money has made a difference.  Medications are now available to everyone early in treatment which once were given only as a last resort. The meds, it seems, work much better if given at the onset of symptoms, than if given once a decline has begun.  This is the kind of information that makes donations soar. Her articles had inspired everyone who read them. Besides being well paid for her research and writing, they had sent her tickets for this ultra formal and exciting benefit.

Claudia and Jane had shopped for the perfect dresses on four separate occasions and each had purchased their own perfect dress and shoes and jewelry. 

Jane’s wearing a fabulous body hugging ankle length gown in a very deep, rich green brocade fabric.  It is gathered into a waist synching sheering, culminating in a tasteful crystal buckle on the left side of her waist band. The neck is a low square cut revealing just enough cleavage to be demure, but not sleazy.  Her shoes are silver with crystals across the toe. She’s also wearing a triple string of crystals around her neck in a choker style and simple drop earrings to match. Her bag is the perfect match with her shoes and just large enough to hold her keys, lipstick and breath spray. Her hair is in curls that are very structured and very feminine. She looks perfectly elegant and not over the top. Claudia could not believe her jeans and T-shirt pal had transformed into this stunning lady in just a few hours.

As for Claudia, she is wearing a basic black expertly fitted sheath. It falls just at her knee. Her shapely legs drop into her black leather 4 inch heels which sport a round buckle of sparkling beads on the side, just below her ankle. Her clutch is a little larger than Jane’s, being about 8 inches long and 4 inches high and is made of the same shiny leather as the lovely heels. She wears a cross hanging from a single chain around her neck and the cross is resting just above the v-neckline of her sheath. She wears no earrings because her hair is down and covering her ears completely. She had curled it in big soft casual curls and then pulled a small amount back and trapped it on the crown of her head with a simple silver clip. The over-all look is pure class.  Jane is equally impressed with Claudia’s transformation.

Arriving at the benefit is an event all on its own!  The valet opens the door and takes Jane’s hand to help her out of her car.  He then helps her step up to the curb and returns to release Claudia from her side of the car.  Both ladies carefully sent on their way to the next escort, the car vanishes.

Once inside, the ladies are greeted by the hostess and announced to the attendees.  How cool is that? 

Now they are free of expectation and ceremony and begin to wander through the crowd and take it all in.  They see all kinds of elegant!  Everyone looks so classy and some of these dresses surely cost more than either of these gals made in a month. Some of them may have cost more than a year’s salary for them. Crazy? Yes, but gorgeous.  A once in a lifetime experience for the girls and they didn’t want to miss a thing. Claudia spies the food table.  They make their way towards it. It is amazing. Truly, amazing! They each take a plate and choose a little snacking fare and head to the bar area. The bartender was a bit standoffish, but delivered each of their drinks as requested and then quickly busied himself elsewhere. “Whatever” they thought.

Finding a spot to sit and people watch, they walk across the bar area and daintily sit themselves on a small settee. The perfect place to see and be seen by nearly everyone in the three rooms has been procured and they begin munching.

It’s hard not to notice the stares they are getting from time to time. Several people have looked at them and then turned quickly away to converse with their friends. Of course, they are wondering why, but since they know only each other here, there isn’t really anyone to ask.  In just a few minutes they learn what everyone else apparently knew.

“Ladies and gentlemen, the dining room is now open and ready for service.  If you would like to proceed to the north end of the room, the buffet line is now open. If you need anything, please ask a server.”  The announcement came from a tuxedoed man who had to be the butler. He was very proper. 

Red faced, red necked and feeling very inept, the two girls looked at each other and of course, broke out into unbridled giggles.  OOPS.  No one told them and they had no clue there would be servers for finger food at a benefit. How were they to know?

A very proper looking lady approaching them goes completely unnoticed because they cannot stop laughing and both have their hands over their faces trying to be quiet, but not succeeding.

“I see you, er ladies have already helped yourselves to the canapés. You are aware that the help is to stay in the kitchen when taking a break, I assume.  The little party dresses are a nice touch, but please remove yourselves to the help quarters immediately. I do not wish to make a scene nor do I wish to call security.” She clipped the end of her sentence in a very dismissive note. She half turned to leave when Jane rose from her seat.

“I am an invited guest madam. This is my friend who also holds a ticket. I admit we did not know the canapés would be served, but assumed we could just help ourselves. Not a big deal, in the grand scheme of things, right? But you madam, are rude and discourteous and I shall speak to Mr. Dowager about this incident. You see, our tickets were from him.”  Jane puffs herself up just a bit as she speaks. She notices that Claudia has risen beside her.

Ms. Society says, “Yes, he is known for handing out tickets to riff raff. Enjoy yourselves dears. And by the way, an actual dinner will be served in two hours. There will be another announcement made about ten minutes after you two start eating that meal.”  With this statement of disdain, she takes a step forward.  Jane cannot stop herself she ‘accidentally’ sticks one of her beautifully shoed feet out just a few inches and Mrs. Society looses her balance.  She makes no effort to catch herself and falls flat on her face! Splunk!

Claudia gasps! Jane pulls her foot back immediately. Ms. Society screams! An earsplitting sound emits from her mouth and everyone turns to look.  Everyone. What they see is two younger women trying to help Ms. Society up and her swinging wildly at them and screaming, “Get away from me!” over and over until she is nearly hoarse. A gentleman, maybe her son, comes over and gently lifts her to her feet. The very second her feet are firmly under her, she swings and catches Jane completely off guard. Jane has her drink on its way to her lips when the connection is made. Glass flies everywhere and Jane jumps back as Ms. Society falls again!  She apparently isn’t as firmly planted as she suspected. Blood is gushing from her face and Jane is beginning to feel the sting. Claudia grabs a stack of napkins, the cloth kind, and presses them to Jane’s check. She pulls them back to peek and sees a deep and fairly long cut.

“Come on, we gotta get you to a Doctor. You’re gonna need a few stitches.” Claudia takes Jane’s elbow and begins to escort her from the party.  Ms. Society rolls to her side and again is being helped up by the young man.  She reaches out and finds a glass. Grasping it tightly she pulls back and lets it fly.  Claudia is at the front door with her charge and leans forward to open the door just as the glass hits the wall to her right. Crash!! Broken glass every where and out the door they go.

What happened inside the party? Who knows? Our girls laughed all the way to the hospital about Ms. Society and her poor beaten ego.

Twenty-seven stitches later, Jane is no worse for the wear and now has a scar she can proudly display as the permanent souvenir of her first and possibly last, high society black tie fund raising benefit.
Jo



40 comments:

  1. This is really funny...but sorry you got it all wrong! Just wait and I'll fill you in later! :D)

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    1. Wrong? MOI? bahahahahhaaha
      What a fun thing to do! Thanks KAT. ♥

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  2. HA! This is fantastic! I feel as though I actually did that! Ms. Society shouldn't have been so terribly rude :).

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    1. I KNOW it woulda gone that way! LOL
      You're such a good sport, thanks for letting us have a few laughs at your expense, and entertainment? LOL♥ Get weller sooner. :)

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  3. I am laughing my butt off at 7am, what a lovely way to start my week. Thanks Jo!

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  4. Serves Ms. Society right! Hahaha! This is hilarious. Now I'm wondering if Jane could actually do that in real life.

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    1. It could for sure happen in real life. And Jane is just the one who would handle it with such class in a totally classless situation! ♥

      Or so I think, anyway.

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  5. That is classic, it would have been hilarious to see that snotty, rude, high society bi-atch fall flat!! Where did she learn how to act in public? LOLOL Great write Jo, I loved it!

    Kathy
    http://gigglingtruckerswife.blogspot.com/

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    1. Glad you liked it Kathy. They learn that behavior by growing up being told they are the upper crust. Upper crust has different rules. Or so I've heard. :)

      Thank you.

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  6. LOL! ...Reaching for napkins-the cloth kind! Hahahahaha! Some members of the "social elite" have the poorest manners out there...

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    1. Do ya think? Just being above all the rest of us isn't bad manners, it's just a fact of their life.
      bless their hearts.

      Thanks, ♥

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  7. LOL! ...Reaching for napkins-the cloth kind! Hahahahaha! Some members of the "social elite" have the poorest manners out there...

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  8. LOL! ...Reaching for napkins-the cloth kind! Hahahahaha! Some members of the "social elite" have the poorest manners out there...

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  9. LOL! ...Reaching for napkins-the cloth kind! Hahahahaha! Some members of the "social elite" have the poorest manners out there...

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    1. Okay, for future reference Amy, I think 2 duplicates is sufficient! rotflmbo

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  10. awesome. entertaining. fun story, jo.

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    1. Why, thank you so much Ms. danneromero

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  11. LOL! Where is Agatha Christie when you need her? This was great.

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  12. Oh this was so much fun JO!! I loved it...and I'm glad Ms. Society had it coming :) LOLOL!

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    1. I'm sure you have met at least one of these uppity ups in your life! :)

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  13. This was great - still laughing! hahaha...

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    1. Then my work here is finished! :)

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  14. oh no it isnt Jo..LOL you've just written the first chapter!!!!!!!!!!!! :0)

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    1. Lmbo...Feel free to take it from here, if you'd like!

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  15. Great story! Jane is a hero for the common woman/man! Thanks Jo. :-)

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    1. Indeed she is. That Claudia is a pretty good friend, too! Thanks MA.

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  16. Jane scores one for the regular folks! :O)

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  17. So glad Ms. Society got what she richly deserved! Go Jane! (And Claudia for being handy with the hankies!)

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    1. Yea,good on Claudia the friend Jane could lean on.
      Thanks Gill. :)

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  18. Oucchhh!! Hahaha! Cats' fight,huh?! One word for Ms.Society, "You don't mess with Jane!"LOL! Enjoyed this a lot!

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    1. That's right! Jane is one tough street girl and smart mouths are nothing to scare her off. Thanks so much! ♥

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  19. Poo on Ms. Sociey, she so got what she deserved. This was great.

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    1. Thanks Laura...karma takes care of things! ♥

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  20. Nice one Jo. I've come across a few high and mighty Ms Societies. Would've loved to watch this happen to them.

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    1. I have known of few of the nose to the sky chicks myself and I always wonder how people get so lofty and why making others feel bad makes them feel good? No answer.
      thanks suzy. ♥

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