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Saturday, May 12, 2012

Mother's Day or Week-end

Another holiday to celebrate with and for Momma. A day to gather her three children and their spouses, all 3 of whom she loves, with food, gifts and a lot of love. It's a day to honor the many years our momma has given us all she had to give. A day to remember a lot of days we have shared as a family under her wing. Memories of our childhood will be discussed and laughed about and plans for our summer reunion will be talked about with anticipation. 


I have prepared some of Momma's favorite foods for our party because I know she loves when I do that. She always appreciates a home cooked meal and does very little cooking for herself. She still makes a mean pot of chili and some decent tuna and noodles, but she leaves most of the real cooking to me and she's happy to come join us for a meal. I love cooking for her. 


We (Roomy and I) took her to the theater Thursday night to see a childhood friend of mine's granddaughter in a production. It was her first professional performance and she was amazing. Momma enjoyed the show and we did as well. On the way home she said, "That was a nice Mother's Day gift, thank you."  I'm glad she enjoyed it and I'm extra glad we get to share good times like this with her.


I believe that Mother's Day will always be all about Momma as long as we have her. I will get to be THE mother on Mother's Day in due time. I am a daughter first. When my kids were little I used to think I'd enjoy being in my mother's position, being THE mother. I never thought I'd rather stay home on that day than be with my mom, but I did think I'd just take another day and call it MY Mother's Day. So I did. Then my brother started coming on Saturday from out of state to celebrate and we just made THAT day Momma's day. We all got together and had Mother's Day on Saturday and then Sunday was my day with my kids. 


When Dad died, it became Mother's Day week-end. I couldn't stand for her to be alone on Mother's Day so we just started spending the whole week-end together. Sometimes my kids are busy and don't make the trip to see me on Sunday, so Momma and would go shopping or just hang out here and eat left-overs and maybe watch a movie or two. If it's nice outside we sit out there and talk and enjoy the day. If my boys come over, that's wonderful, but as the years pass, that's becoming very rare. I get phone calls from Tennessee and I love talking to everyone on that day and wishing happy Mother's Day to them as well. I miss them so much on holidays. I miss everything I used to love about the holidays. The only constant in my holidays is that Roomy and  Momma will be part of them. Celebrating with them, cooking for them, laughing or just hanging out with them is what our holidays have become, for the most part. I miss my kids being here. I miss having a house full of grand babies on the holidays. 


I have been thinking this over since Christmas. I think I am going to give my kids a new calendar with MY holidays marked in red.


Christmas will be the Friday after Thanksgiving.  I would love to have the Tennessee kids here for that one so we could have a real family Christmas.


My birthday is fine, a call to remember me on that day is good enough. 


Mother's Day will be the Sunday following the traditional one.  Father's Day will be the Sunday following the official one. The gift I am going to ask each of them to give us is their families time at my home for a few hours. The other holidays are not a big deal to me, but those three, I really, really miss my family gatherings for those days. I would NOT expect the Tennessee families to be here for Mother's Day or Father's Day. 


We also host a family reunion for my small family in July and my daughter and her family come for that and my son and his family come, the other two boys do not. I'd love for them to come. I'd like them to get better acquainted with my sister's family and my brother's and my mom would enjoy seeing them as well.


Raising independent children was a mistake. I'm sure of that now. They are wonderful people with successful lives, but they do not seem to need 'family' and I can't imagine that. They all think 'family' is under their own roof, mostly. That's good, but the extended family time creates so many memories for little ones. The grand babies barely know their cousins. I guess the rush around life style makes everyone want to just stay home on their days off. I get that. I really do. I wish they would all slow themselves down and find time for each other and for me. I know that sounds selfish, it is selfish and I think it's okay to want to be special to my kids a couple times a year. It's also okay if they don't agree. I'll enjoy this week-end with Momma and Roomy and Roomy will spoil us both. ♥


The world has changed so much in the last 20 or so years and I am just not sure I will ever understand all of it, but I do know that I am loved by all my kids and grand kids and really, what is more important than that?  Absolutely nothing.


Happy Mother's Day!


Jo





19 comments:

  1. It sounds like you had a lovely day planned for Mother's Day. I hope you had a happy one. Here is a little present from me to you. I am giving you an award, because I just love you Jo!!! You can pick it up whenever it suits you here...

    http://gigglingtruckerswife.blogspot.com/2012/05/kreativ-blogger-award.html

    Kathy
    http://gigglingtruckerswife.blogspot.com

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  2. Thanks for stopping by Kathy...And thanks for the award, you are so sweet.
    It was a good day, hope yours was as well. ♥

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    1. Mother's Day was nice on my end. The kids and I camped out in our camper and they got up early and served me breakfast in bed and made me Mother's Days cards. I have such sweet kids. So do you by the looks of it!! You are very welcome!! You deserve it. :D

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  3. Sounds like you had a wonderful time of making Mother's Day special for Momma!! How wonderful of you--and I love how you honor her in such a loving way while she is still with you. Send her my love ♥ Jenn

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    1. It's easy to love this woman. I am so blessed.
      Thanks, Jenn.

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  4. Love your thoughts and explanations on Mother's Day Jo. And I don't think it's selfish of you to put out there what you desire for Mother's Day, and your other two special holidays to be. And there's also nothing wrong with wishing for more connection in an extended family type of way. Sounds like you have lots of love to go around, and who knows what the future will hold as well as a gentle blog nudge to express yourself. Glad youhad such a wonderful time with your mom - I don't need to tell you to cherish the time you have with her - it's obvious you already do. :)

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    1. None of them read my blogs! None of them (except one daughter-in-law ♥) is even on FB so that isn't any problem nor is it a help! LOL
      They're all a good bunch and I think it will work out. Maybe.
      ♥ Thank you Amy.

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  5. I grew up with changeable birthdays, shifting holidays and an extra Christmas, which was great considering all the holidays we we're separated or had to work. Family makes it's own rules and those independent children will shift their focus a time or two and always come home.

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    1. Maybe! I kinda hope it works out. It would be fun to have a day just for me, a day just for Roomy and a day just for the babies to play together and the rest of us to just eat and talk and maybe share a glass of wine.

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  6. It's good that you aren't determined to celebrate on the exact holidays and are open to adjusting the dates that you get together. I'm sure that'll make it easier for everyone.

    It might also help if you were able to go to them most of the time, rather than them coming your way. Your grands are old enough to have outside friends and commitments and now that you have more free time than you did when you were working, it might be fun to head out and see their ball games, dance recitals, or whatever it is that they are involved in.

    In any case, knowing that the love is strong and that you all matter to each other is a wonderful thing. I love the love you have for your momma and the example you set by making her a priority in your life.

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    1. I think it might work. We do go to a game or two and the recitals and anything else they invite us to or tell us about.
      The biggest problem is that Roomy still works 40+ hours a week and his week-ends are full with his own chores and he isn't much for heading out to kid events more than one night a week and we have 5 grand babies here in the area. It's not easy, but we do make their fun stuff something we share because it matters to us and to them.
      Our family is very close to us. Each of them in their own way make sure we know how much they love us and we constantly reach out to them with calls and texts and just stay available to them. We have tried never to be the over-bearing interfering parents that we both know. My hope is that we haven't overdone that.
      If they call and want to see us, we go. Always.
      Thank you for caring and thank you for always being so supportive. You're cool like that. ♥

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  7. I too flew home to celebrate Mama's day with my Mom. Even though I am a mom, my mother's day has always been spent with my mom (except when I was living in London)and never do I celebrate mine. I got home in time to cook dinner for my boys. Oh the joy. Tender as always.

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    1. Good gravy...you need to adopt my plan. I'm good with giving that week-end to Momma and I think having my own day a week later is just way cool. I hope it works. ♥

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  8. that's what I do with my mom sinc my father died -- spend the whole weekend together. Except it's just us; the girls! I leave all the boys home. She takes me out to dinner one night, and I her the next!

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    1. Sounds awesome. That is so nice, so you could take the next Sunday and inform your 'boys' that is is YOUR Mommy's Day. ♥ I could start a whole new holiday here. lol

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  9. I love the devotion you have to your mom, Jo. I pretty much take care and watch over my mom too. I agree about the holidays. It's all about family. Hope my kids don't move too far away someday!

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    1. Mine aren't so far away, well two of them aren't, but they are just so busy all the time that they don't want to come 'home' for holidays, they want me to come to them. They are an hour apart and we are in the middle of them. It's a long, long day for us to run between them and we usually have Momma with us and she is just exhausted by the time we're done. But it is what is for now. This idea just might work out great.
      This past year we did Chtristmas Eve morning at one son's and then headed to my sister's for dinner. We got up Christmas morning and had breakfast with Momma who had spent the night with us. Then we went to the other son's for late lunch and spent a couple hours. It was okay, but not anything like the Christmases of years past with all the kids together and the babies running around and playing. It's okay, just not the same.
      Changing the dates may bring that back for us. ♥

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  10. Your mother and the rest of your family are very blessed to have you and I hope they appreciate how lucky they are!

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    1. Thank you Kat, but truly I am the blessed one. Four kids who all love me and a mom who would do anything for me and 10 grand babies from 3 to 23 that add so much to our lives. Laughs, tears, ball games, dances whatever they do, we do. They share so much with us, I am so blessed.

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