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Monday, September 10, 2012

IMPULSE

The road to friendship is cut with a smile;
 smoothed with caring and kindness;
 worn with love
 and paved with loyalty.
It is eroded with consistent negativity.
The road can never be a one way path.
  ~Jo Heroux~

I wrote that as an introduction to how I see friendship.

Closeness we develop with our friends is different than that which we may have with family members, I believe. One big reason may be that we choose our friends and they choose us. Family is given to us and though they are often the best of our friends, they remain different by the very fact that they were not chosen. They were gifts.

Our closest friends are often people with whom we share moral values, family values and basically enjoy the same activities or hobbies or personalities. Something brought us together initially and something has kept them close through the friendship. The friends who come and go, and we all have a list of those, are not the ones I am writing of today, those are friends of purpose. Some were for our purpose, they brought something into our life that was needed or for their purpose,we gave them something; but once the purpose was served, the friendship dwindled or ended abruptly.

For those of us who tend to be stay at homes and routine oriented, an impulsive friend can be a lifeline to the real world outside our doors. At the same time, the busy bee running around here and there and never really having time to smell the roses, a calmer stay at home, plan everything friend can be a good balance. I see this and understand it. For me, my best friend of nearly 40 years is very much like me. She goes where she needs to go to get things done. She also loves being home. She totally enjoys her kids as her friends and the parents of her grand children. She also works for her daughter-in-law, yes, it is working out well.  We don't see each other a lot these days because she works and I don't. She has less time for playing with me, but we make time now and then to do something impulsive or a nice quiet afternoon on the deck here at our house.
I love either one. I love my time with her and she has always been my go to person for anything! Yes, anything. I have never told her I couldn't do something she needed or wanted and she has never not been there for me. We talk more often than we hang out these days, but the relationship is as strong as ever and I love her like family. And we chose each other when our kids were 6. The children each celebrated their 43rd birthday this year.

Before I stop, just for the record, back some 37 years ago, we did a lot of impulsive things. Most were ill-advised, but fun!  These days, we do much less impulsively and nothing ill-advised. That's my story and I'm stickin' to it!

Jo


21 comments:

  1. By bestest friend and I met when we were both pregnant at another neighbors baby shower. Our little kiddies are turning 23 this year.

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    1. How cool is that? BTW...I always read your blog but have declared myself captcha free...if there is a captcha, I don't try to break them. You always make me laugh and I do so enjoy your sense of humor and sense of life. ♥

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  2. My best friend and I have shared an amazing 25 yr. friendship. I love her so much and even though we have most def. slowed down through the years it is a lot of fun too look back on our ill advised "adventures." Wow but we had some fun! Great post Jo. You hit the friendship nail right on the head. :)

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    1. Thanks Mimi,,,Thinking and talking about our adventures is fun and I never wish to redo any of them! LOL She is my lifeline, sometimes, no always.

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  3. I like the distinction you make between friends of the moment and forever friends. In my life forever friends are priceless and rare.

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    1. Thank you. I find both to be of benefit in my life.

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  4. I so agree with your definition of friendship, we have the same approach in life!

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  5. YES!!!!!!! how TRUE..sad, some of my forever friends...(since fourth grade) i have lost touch with...but there is still hope..because they are still on this earth!!!
    The ones i have lost, .. like my best friend..my dad...yup in my heart he is; like all of Heaven...but HERE ON EARTH..gotta love the "go to friend" my BFF Cathy!! Guess we all have that one priceless one!!! and YOU my dear Jo..we @ GBE2 are blessed to have you!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How i love your input and flashes of energy..hoping one day we will meet in person!!

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    1. AWWWWWWWW what a lovely thing to say! I have expressed my blessing many times in finding this and a few other writing groups. This one is very special to me though because I have made real, true and life long friends here. Beth has set such a loving example of how to cultivate your own 'group' of friends. We have followed her lead and we have each been given new and irreplaceable relationships, yes, relationships, friendships. I am so grateful to have found this group and to have created real loving friends, including my Brenda. ♥

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  6. Jo, although we have never met face to face in the flesh, I count you as a very dear friend and feel very blessed that our paths have crossed. As Brenda said the GBE2 is a place filled with lovely special people. I feel so blessed to be apart of it.

    Kathy
    http://gigglingtruckerswife.blogspot.com

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    1. I have said many times that I have friends I would never ever have met had it not been for this great group of writers falling in under Beth's leadership.
      A handful of those members have become very special and forever friends in my life, I hope.
      You, most certainly are one of those. ♥

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  7. My best friend is from Finland. Nearly 25 years ago, she was an exchange student to my family's home. Great. Yet another exchange student. We'd had seemingly millions (and I was later one myself). She walked in my door and into my life. Oceans apart, we are somehow the same person. We used to contact each other on blue air mail writing paper. Thank goodness texting came around. :)

    This is a wonderful post, Jo. So nice to read it and everyone's responses!

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    1. Thanks Amy. I have seen some of your communications with your Fin Friend and wondered how you got acquainted. Nice stoty!
      Friends do not require physical closeness, as you well know. Look how many wonderful friends we have online from all over the world!

      One of mine lives in NY...oh, a few of mine do, actually. ♥ u

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  8. I imagine your impulsive times with your friend would make a great posting as well! Well...those that could be shared. :) Friends of purpose is an intesting take and one I can relate to. Just never thought of it that way, so it was a nice and different concept to wrap my thoughts around. Glad you have thsi wonderful and lasting friendship!

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    1. Thanks Amy...no stories of our impulsive history! None that could be shared here.

      The friends of purpose in my life have been many and all vital to who I am in one way or another and a few of them have hurt me deeply, but that too was important in my development.

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  9. Reading words written by writing friends allows us to share lives and friendships in ways that non-writers may never understand. Writing is so personal, and many readers never get that becasue they re not writers. Writing friends for me can be either time and place friends or forever friends. Amazing relationships have come to life via script throughout history.

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    1. I agree that writers are a breed of their own and outsiders really don't get it at all. I often say my writer friends read the words I didn't type as well as the ones I did. The readers don't see those.

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  10. Jo, thank you for this. Forever friends are rare and I love that those friends are low maintenance...we can always pick up where we left off. Even though we've never met, getting to know you through writing has been precious time. We share lots of the same 'heart' in our writing and I count you as one of my friends, thank you!

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    1. My fellow Michigander, we are indeed friends. Good to see you here and will be looking for your next post. I miss reading them.

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