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Monday, June 3, 2013

Half My Life

So what are the odds of this being the topic this particular time?

 I am 63 years old and have been married to my Roomy for 31.5 years. Yep, that's half my life. So for half my life I have been Jo Heroux. For the first 17 years I was Jo Settle. Then for 10 years I was Jo Ballard. Then for 2 years I was Jo Haueisen.

Each of those women were different. As I look back at who I was and why I became her, I realize the life I was living created the woman I became. I liked Jo Settle, but I like Jo Heroux much more. She is a nicer person. A less selfish woman. A woman who gives without expectation. A woman who knows the blessings bestowed in her life and is grateful and has not forgotten the heartaches and pain of the younger woman she once was.

Half of my life I have shared with the man who made the most horrendous move in the history of moves on the night that we officially met. I have raised my own children with him and helped to raise a couple of his. I have opened my heart to his children as if they had come from my body because they came from his. He has fathered my children because he was the only father they knew who didn't go away and forget to come back. He was the only father who would never get so mad at them that they couldn't be forgiven. Oh, he got mad at them, but never forever. He always remembered who the adult was. His heart has never closed to anyone who once lived in it. He loves forever.

Half of my life I have been the wife of someone I like. That is so much more important than I ever knew. Lust and hotness are lessened with age, but like is capable of simply growing. He's my buddy and he's my Roomy and he's the love I have never for a second doubted. He's the man who still warms my heart when he smiles at me. Still makes me want to be my best self because he thinks I am much better than I really am. I am the best wife I know how to be. I see my shortcomings, but I also know that he is happy so, I think I'm doing okay.

This was September 2010


The first half of my life I was finding my way. I was getting ready and growing into the woman who would be right for Roomy. This half of my life I am learning and becoming his other half.

Starting very soon, I will have been with my husband for longer than I was without him. That is how life is suppose to unfold, I think. You are supposed to be with your other half, your better half most of your life.

Marriage is not easy for anyone long term, but with the right one, it's so doable. It's also so worth it. The effort of the early years have paid high dividends for me. I hope he feels the same. The most he has really every verbalized to me about this was during an anniversary celebration when he said, "I have no complaints. I'd do this thing again."

Smooth talkers always get me!

Half my life was climbing and now half my life has been relaxing on the top of the hill.

Jo

21 comments:

  1. For many reasons, dear friend, this speaks to me.

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    1. Thank you. Wanna know something? It spoke to me, too. It made me think of what we have here. What sometimes, I might forget.
      Thanks for reading. It's been so long, I'm sure I have like 3 readers left. :( Awfully glad you're one of them.

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  2. Love this! You two make a beautiful couple!

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    1. Awwww...thanks. He is cute isn't he? Love that you came to read. :)

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  3. This is so, so sweet! I loved reading it and I love your outlook on life and marriage. Congratulations on 31.5 years and I wish you many, many more!

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    1. Thanks Jennifer. I love this big ole guy and heck, I'm way too old to train a new one, now!

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  4. Shoot, now I'm in love with Roomy as well and I love, love, love, a good love story. Couldn't happen to a nicer person!

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    1. You're absolutely right, he does deserve me! BahahahAha

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  6. You brought tears to my eyes Jo. My "Roomy" and I would have been together 45 years this past April. You are a very lucky woman and so is Mike!! Love you bunches!! Gary Smith

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    1. Thanks my buddy. Your Roomy was an awesome and loving woman. I loved her for many years before I met you and continued long after. You were lucky in love, for sure.

      We have a pretty good life and having found him after so much had not gone right, was exactly as it was meant to be.

      Love you, too. ♥

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  7. Loved this post sooooo much, you are amazing, your feelings simply touched my heart. Be happy!

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    1. Thanks, Claudia. We are happy.

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  8. Jo, I love the way you speak to so many hearts. Love is a living, growing thing and it needs tending. Sometimes when we forget to tend it,love will wither and die. But it can be ressurrected with a little tenderness. Glad,Mike is one of the good guys that can love even if he is mad and forgive even when it hurts. Special kind of Dad. Elaine.

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    1. Thank you, Elaine. You know, we're all pretty much alike. We all want to be loved and appreciated. Sometimes we forget to give it, as well.

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    2. This is a wonderful way to put it. Congrats on finding your perfect man. May you enjoy 31.5 more years together.

      http://joycelansky.blogspot.com/2013/06/gbe2-half-my-life-ago.html

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    3. Thank you so much, Joyce. He isn't perfect, but he's perfectly acceptable!

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  9. I am so glad you have been with Mr. Right for half of your life. So many people spend their lives searching for him and miserable. Congrats to you both. I hope you have many more years to enjoy life and each other.

    Kathy
    http://gigglingtruckerswife.blogspot.com

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    1. Thank you, Kathy. It took me a while to get it right! Could be partly because as I grew older my sense of self and my lack of needing a partner, made it much easier to find a good and comfortable companion for life. We didn't grow up together, but we definitely grew together.

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  10. nice, jo... i can feel your contentment through your words.... nice to have someone you like... makes life that much nicer...

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    1. Thank you so much. I am quite content with my life these days as long as everyone is healthy and no one is fighting! LOL

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