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Sunday, February 23, 2014

DEAR YOUNGER SELF

DEAR YOUNGER SELF
#theblogginglounge
February 23, 2014


I have done a couple of these posts in the past and I always enjoy doing it, but today, it feels more difficult to look back and give myself advice or even to sit in judgment of that girl or woman of my past. She did okay with what she had to work around and the choices she made seem to have worked okay in the long run. Though she put herself through some unimaginable pain and strife, she learned and grew from those, so they were necessary to arrive here. She did okay.

I do wish I could whisper to the little girl I once was and tell HER that being the baby is not a bad thing and that her family really does love her. I wish she knew how vital those summers in Ohio with the grandparents would be for all the days of her life. She thought she was just having fun. Truth is, she was learning what kind of person she wanted to become. She was learning the value of the kitchen. The heart of many homes is there and at her grandmother's table she was learning how to love nurturing your family. It wasn't about cooking a meal, it was about providing what you had to nourish your family and doing that because that was your job in the grand scheme of things. You were to provide the warmth, the fuel and the gathering spot which ties the family together. That is what dinner is or was back in the day. For me, today, feeding my family is still something I feel compelled to do and love doing. That little girl thought she was just chatting with her grandmother and learning a few of her favorite recipes, and I use that term loosely because it was a little of this and just enough of that and stir and simmer until it's done...no measurements and no times or temps were needed. She did learn, but she had no idea she was learning.

I might tell her to pay more attention to the lessons of summer in Ohio. I might remind her that her home in Michigan is a good place filled with people who do love her and a mom who will eventually allow her freedom in the kitchen so she can also learn to love meal preparation. That mom will give over the kitchen for some not real good meals while she learns her way around and will offer much advice about how to make it better next time. A dad who will eat anything she hands him, including the forty-hundredth omelet she is trying so hard to perfect. Never suggesting that she try something new because until that omelet looked like the picture and tasted delicious, she wasn't satisfied enough to move on. Bless his heart. She wasn't aware of all the wonderful things in her simple life that not everyone had. She assumed the whole world lived as she did. I would tell her to step back and look more closely at her friends' homes; they were not all as easy to live in as her's. They didn't all have a mom and a dad living there and they weren't all as loved as she. She had no idea.

I might even tell her to just continue to live the carefree life as long as she could because eventually we all have to grow up and be responsible and while she could, just enjoy her closet rooms or her row of doll heads that she couldn't bear to throw away long after the body of said doll was in tatters and had been discarded. It seemed wrong to her to throw away a head. While I now think that is really weird, it was the beginning of the woman who thinks all faces are worth seeing and saving. Good for you little girl who had no idea why, but could not throw away a face. Good for you.

Yes, I would for sure tell her to carry on and smile and laugh and remember just this one thing...you are loved little one and valued by some very remarkable people.

Jo

29 comments:

  1. I totally relate to the doll heads thing - I always thought my dolls had souls.

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    1. I have never heard anyone say that wasn't the strangest thing any child ever did. Thanks, Sharon! ❤️

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    1. Hi and thanks for reading and sharing.

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  3. Sounds like there is nothing too major to change for that little girl.

    http://joycelansky.blogspot.com

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  4. Ahhh wisdom and heart abound through the "blue and white" :) Oh and i so relate..didn't have dolls tho but TROLLS lol and PONY's!! Oh and so true about only one woman in the kitchen!!!!

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    1. Welcome home, my friend! Missed you.
      Thanks for making time for me while all those creatures await your next visit.

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  5. That's it, I'm going back in time to be your littler brother.

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    1. You'd pretty much have to be my son, Steven. In fact, you'd be my youngest child!
      Ah, what's one more! ❤️

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  6. When my suitcase full of Barbies went flying out of the truck during a move when I was 9 it was the end of dolls for me. I can still remember the feeling. But, the keeping my attention on remembering those moments... your Ohio summers, I was pretty good at that, though they were fewer and farther between.

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    1. Prompts that lead me to looking back can depress me or upset me, but I must have been in a good place when this one came up because I felt all warm and fuzzy writing this one.
      Some childhood feelings are forever.

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  7. I really like this "look back" message, and I really like that you've pulled the right things from your past to create such a rich present. You're doing it right in my humble opinion.

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    1. Thank you, Susan. I get it right now and then, but the best thing is that mistakes and all, life goes on and on the good days it's awesomesauce and on the lesser days, it's just life.

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  8. A retrospective filled with wisdom--I, also, have thought about the many things in my past that I might have paid more attention to. Powerful messages here.

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    1. I think it's one of very few reasons to look back, ever.
      The past is just that, past. My only reason to look back is to remember wonderful moments or relive a lesson so as not to repeat it.

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  9. "All faces are worth seeing and saving." So beautiful, Jo, and such great perspective while looking back. The most important thing to remember always -- "you are loved."

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    1. I don't know how many children always feel loved. I imagine looking back allows us to see whether or not we really were valued. It matters, I think.

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  10. Ah, if we only knew back then, what we knew now, eh? Lovely post.

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    1. Exactly, Claudia! But what fun would that be?

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  11. I like this one best of all your 'looking Jack's posts. I can picture you with your collection of doll heads, treating each one special. Thanks for sharing this part of you.

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  13. That is just a little wild how you held on to all those heads. Amazing how much we learn about ourselves in hindsight.

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    1. And yet my family didn't take me for treatment! LOL

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    1. Pretty much everything I write comes from my heart or my emotions. Thank you for visiting and commenting.

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  15. I can't believe you wouldn't tell her to move to Phoenix or Florida! ;)

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    1. Well, she coulda saved me a lot of grumpiness had she done that. But ya know, if she had not been here, there wouldn't be a Roomy!

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