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Friday, July 10, 2015

Getting Old and Moving Away

 <---- This is one of the things I miss with this getting old thing. I really miss wine. It no longer agrees with my stomach. It is off the list of relaxation activities. On the plus side, a nice cold beer is still welcomed by my tummy and I have adjusted to that. 

Wine replacement

Another thing about getting on in years is my inability to work in the sun. I can still enjoy sitting in it. I can totally enjoy the beach in full sun or with an umbrella, but gardening must now be done in small doses or on cloudy days.
I can't take a walk in the middle of a hot and sunny day either. I walk at least 5 days a week and sometimes every day, but it is now at 8pm or so to avoid collapsing in a sweaty heap along my way. I am, however, grateful that walking is still in my portfolio of "can do" activities. It is very refreshing and revitalizing and I need some sort of exercise since I'm not fond of that "sport."
from my evening walk

Moving has caused some losses not associated with aging. Like this little ones birthday yesterday.  

She turned 9 yesterday without us. ---->

This is the fourth birthday we have not been in Michigan to celebrate. There will be many more. We've only been here 6 months.

The fourth of July has always been a day filled with Heroux family and a lot of food, drink and more catching up with each other than any other time. The laughing is unending and the smiles fill the day. This year we didn't make the party. It was hard. Hard to be here and thinking of all of them. I texted a niece I was pretty sure would have her phone on and she sent some really awesome pics. We both smiled just seeing them. It was a huge help to be electronically included. Love her for doing that. 
Just a small section of the gathering

We find our move to be such a mixed bag. Nothing has been as big a shock though as finding all of our neighborhood to be loners. They are friendly and polite and smile and wave while adding a cheery "Hi," but that is it. There is no interaction. No socializing. No standing outside in the yards and talking. They just don't. Not with each other and certainly not with us. It's crazy!

When I'm walking I often see people outside. So being the person I am and wanting to make friends out of my neighbors, I stop walking and try to strike up conversations. They are always very nice and some have even talked a few minutes, but it ends there. I have to actually ask their names. They have never introduced themselves to me even though I walk by their home every day. They know where I live, they know we are new here, they know my name because I introduce myself immediately. The response is almost always, "Nice to meet you." Not, mind you, giving me their name. I think two people have actually returned their first name in the exchange and I have done this many times. We are wondering if we might do better in a retirement sub. There are many around us in this same area, which we love, and seriously have discussed putting the house back on the market and moving to where we might actually be able to have friends. It appears that doesn't happen in this sub.

Then again, we are going to have new neighbors to our north soon enough. The lots are being prepped for clearance and maybe one or two of those five lots might be people like us with no ties here who would enjoy dinner company or an invitation to go somewhere now and then. We might wait and see how this develops. Moving really doesn't sound fun, to be honest. But it's not out of the question.

We are also planning more trips north next year. At the very least, one longer trip of a few weeks, maybe two, at least and they will be mid-summer when the kids are not in school.  

We both feel like we have just fallen into a rut of a sort, doing basically the same things every day and forgetting sometimes that we live in paradise now and we do have the freedom to drive around and see things. Hang out on the beach as often as we like and yes, we do these things, but we agree we need to do more of it. Pity parties only really happen when we stagnate. 

Did I mention getting old also means we have to talk each other into going someplace because that means getting up, cleaning up a bit and actually going to the car? Okay in fairness, Roomy is always ready to go, it's me who needs encouragement to leave my porch.
I'm working on getting over that one. Florida has far too much to offer to never leave the screen porch. Although, that is still a little slice of heaven for me. 



  1. Glad you're enjoying the move...
    Wish your neighbors were smart enough to get to know you like we do...they're really missing out.
    You could try one of the hard ciders instead of wine...maybe they won't bother your tummy.
    DO take it easy in the heat!!! You're still sporting that Northerners blood...give it a couple years to thin out and you'll be wearing down coats if it gets below 60° just like you were born there!!! Lol

    1. I keep telling these people what an awesome couple we are! LOL
      Hard cider? Maybe. Beer is good for now.
      I love the heat and it's a great excuse to just sit or hang out at the beach.

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  3. Just out of high school I moved to Nashville, Tennessee to go to college. I thought it was going to be the best thing ever because I loved to visit. The only thing, once I got there I realized living there was a whole different ball of wax. I had to time my trips here and there well before or after rush hour, most times staying on campus studying. I had no friends, really wasn't as familiar with the city as I thought, and my folks lived 8 hours north. I found out very quickly I was lonely and wanted to go home. I discovered I was shy and I longed for the familiar. I am happy you are adjusting and I can sure understand the mixed bag you are experiencing. I hope things get better for you. Enjoy the beach. Enjoy Florida. Be happy. You were quite used to having family gatherings and being around lots of people you know, and I can imagine that Florida is quite lonely.

    1. Lonely...that isn't really the right word because there are many people to talk to and I have Roomy and Jake. It's more a feeling of being a "visitor" with no outside connections. Lots of acquaintances and waiting for friends and family to come visit us. Hard to explain, but odd.
      I can see why you were homesick, the shy gene is not a friend in a new life. I am neither shy nor uncomfortable. I'm not homesick either, though I know Roomy has had a few bouts of that.

  4. Well, I have to agree with Joe up there. Those folks have no idea what they're missing out on by not befriending you. I will be in much the same boat when we move. I've already contacted a few friends and was surprised to find out how many of them don't do anything anymore, everybody's tired.. Me, I'm ready to fly! I got out the calendar of events happening in the city, I've made note of the ones I'd like to attend. I'm very fortunate that mostly everything is free, and I've looked up some writing groups and crafting groups too. There's always something going on, and if not, there will always be early mornings and quiet nights on the back patio or drives to the mountains. I do totally get missing those bdays and holiday get togethers.. I miss the kiddos and my grands every second of the day and every day I question my move but all around, I know it was for the best. When I do go visit I get quality time, blocked out just for me and that to me is special. What about volunteering opportunities? I've checked into those too. :)

    1. I think you are going to be fine because you are a joiner. I'm not. I don't want to be obligated to attend anything, I know you're not really obligated, but if I join, I will feel obligated. Volunteering has entered our conversations and even been tossed around with some serious thought. Something with the preservation of the marine life, wildlife preservation, animal rescue work...even finding a volunteer position at a doggie daycare or boarding place. But again, I really don't want anyone to count on me to be somewhere and do something.
      It's 10 months since I lost Momma and I still feel like I need not to be needed, yet.
      I'm very glad to be having company this week coming. I've missed my kids so much and this visit is more than welcome. TOMORROW.

  5. I'm from Manhattan where I can make friends in a NY sec. Now I live in a cul de sac in SC---where people were incredibly unfriendly.
    I was beginning to think it was me. Affected every area of my life and couldn't understand why I met more people before I actually moved here--and never saw them again
    I joined several meetup groups and met great people. Then joined local facebook groups. Now I host one of the lunch groups
    New friendly neighbors moved in
    Fortunately I have some friends here but they only live here part time
    It's hard Jo but keep looking---and join groups with and without your husband. I'm so not a joiner but it works for me


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