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Sunday, July 28, 2013

FINAL ARRANGEMENTS MAKE THEM YOURSELF

Many of my friends are now at an age where they are considering their mortality. Not exactly facing it, but considering it. I find it a subject not acceptable for discussion when I try to share thoughts about the final arrangements, the financial planning, the medical and financial power of attorney documents, living wills and anything that might indicate we are going to die.

G I A N T   N E W S    F L A S H   F R I E N D S 

We  are  all  going  to  die, not preparing doesn't stop it from happening!

So I therefore, suggest you talk with your family about what THEY would like because they are the ones who have to deal with your loss and with your wishes. Why do you have wishes anyway? You will be gone to your reward and the funeral and other businesses of dying are left to them. If you have music you enjoyed while you were among us, fine! Request that at your service, if your family would like a service. Yes, I said, IF because some people do not. The services are for those who are left to mourn. The decision about how long, how formal, open casket or closed or no casket, should be theirs to make. In the case of cremation, you can still have a brief showing, if they need one. You can rent a casket, you can do whatever makes it easiest for your family or friends. You will not be there. 

We have made all of our arrangements, arranged payment for the same and notified the kids of where all the documents are. We have purchased burial plots because our daughter needs to have us buried even though we are being cremated. I don't care. She needs a place to visit, so she shall have that. They wanted a brief visitation for friends, they think we have some, bless their hearts, so I arranged for that. They will be disappointed at the attendance, I imagine, but they asked for it.  The music, big surprise, will be Elvis for me and Neil Diamond for Roomy. The theme songs for each of his Detroit Teams may also be heard! UGH.
We're all behind our baseball team, go get 'em Detroit Tigers, Go Get 'Em Tigers! 

We have each others power of attorney for medical and financial affairs and one child has been given back-up poa in case it is needed. Everyone has been given our medical wishes, no machines etc. and no extraordinary measures speech and know exactly what to do and when to do it. Financially, the will is quite clear and there is a copy for each. 

The only thing left to do is buy the marker for the grave site and of course, die. I am taking care of the marker soon, the rest I hope waits a good while.

I may be unique in that I don't mind talking about my own death, but I do think we all need to relieve our families and friends or the state of the responsibility of our remains. It's the least and the last gift we can give to those we love or a state who probably can't afford to dispose of us anyway. 

Wanna know a secret? Since all these things have been taken care of and paid for, I feel so much better. I don't have to think about my own funeral or my husband's anymore. They are just hanging out in file drawers and causing no harm and no stress to anyone. I am so happy to have all this morbid and depressing stuff done and filed away!  

Death is coming for all of us, but at least, we made a plan.  And the plan has no expiration date, unlike us.

Jo

4 comments:

  1. I've put off final plans because I don't know where I'll be when I'll need them. Don't think either of our daughters need to have a place to visit, but discovered recently that hubby needs a marker of some kind. Interesting how these things come to light. Fortunately, the little cemetery where many of his ancestors are buried had very inexpensive plots, so we probably should go ahead and take care of that now that both he and I have passed 70. You got me thinking.

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    1. Good to hear you are thinking about it. It's a wonderful gift to your survivors to wrap up as many loose ends as possible.

      πŸ˜€. πŸ’™

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  2. i am so with you on this jo (although i haven't done a thing about it)... but i bring up the subject and my family cringes.... like you said, it's going to happen.. i just want them to know what i want .... now to get it in writing..... I'm being cremated and tossed in the ocean waves.... :)

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  3. I know first had how hard it was to handle the details for my parents, but I felt it made me feel as if it was the last thing I could do for each of them. Pick the casket, pick the flowers, pick the stone. They had already purchased their plot.

    Kathy
    http://gigglingtruckerswife.blogspot.com

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