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Thursday, September 8, 2016

Momma's 2nd Angelversary

Two years ago, I said goodnight to Momma as she headed down the hall to bed. I told her I loved her and I'd see her in the morning. She replied in kind. Our final goodnight, love you, see you in the morning.

I, nor she, had any idea.

For two years I've wondered how do I do this? Who am I now? It's all about me.

It used to be all about her.
And then...
My life changed beyond my wildest imagination since that night.  We've lost our teen-aged furbabies. Sadie at 13 passed three months after Momma. Jake at 15 passed 8 months later.

  • JAKE


We moved from Michigan to Florida and then moved again 11 months later.

We adopted an adorable little guy from the Humane Society, Miggy a few days after Jake died.
Miggy & Me

So many changes and so much adjustment. Roomy and I are strong. We are happily settled now and this retirement community is our home. Likely, our last home. The friends we have here are snowbirds, for the most part, but we have one friend from the sub and a couple from our street that stay year round with us. Good friends are a treasure.

Going to bed tonight will be sad. No question. I will stay up past 2, which is when she passed in my arms and next to my heart. I seldom go to bed before 1:30, which is when I retired that night, but not tonight and not very often since.

One thing I now know to be true. All the firsts of the first year of grief are unbelievably difficult.  The second year those days are even more difficult because life did go on without her. Life changed and the good days outnumbered the weeping days, but "those" days are reminders of the finality of it all. Realism sets in. It really is like this now. It will always be like this now. She lives in my heart now. She lives in the choices I make. The life I choose. The love I share. She lives in all those things, all those things she taught me or showed me. I am my mother's daughter is so many ways.
Momma & I

As long as I am walking this earth, I will miss her every day. I hope soon to miss her with more giggles and fewer tears.

The greatest of love breeds the greatest of grief.


Friday, September 2, 2016

It's All About Respect

The football player, not standing or the Olympic athlete not putting her hand to her heart during the playing of the National Anthem is a topic of discussion for several reasons.

1) People judge other people by their own standards.

2) People are raised in different environments with different moral codes and different standards of conduct.

3) The Flag is a symbol. The Anthem is a symbol. Not everyone views either as sacred. Not every American feels patriotism is measurable and certainly not by your conduct around these two symbols. Some feel your conduct is paramount. Most feel it strongly on either side.

Thinking it all comes down to respect. More than freedom, more than propriety, even more than tradition, respect.

Don't you notice in our country that respect is evaporating? Once respect was given to all until or unless they caused it to be withdrawn. 

It was taught to us as children that respect was given to elders, people in authority and all uniformed personnel. It included police, teachers, ministers of all faiths, neighbors, parents, family, veterans, active service personnel and pretty much to everyone who had not dishonored that respect. Do you remember those days? Those talks from your parents or grandparents? Do you remember being told to address people as Mr., Mrs, Miss or ma'am or sir?

Do you remember, "Do unto others...?"
Were you taught, "Please, thank you and may I?"
How about, "Excuse me?"
Did you ever hear, "Do not interrupt, wait until ___ is done talking, please?"

Simple manners. Simple respect.

Now all I hear is that respect is earned! It's not a gift given freely. It's what you receive when you give it. 

Really?  Because if I can only give it to those from whom I have received it, how does it start?

The Flag has a code. If you haven't read it, I suggest you do.
You can find it here:

It states among it's list that one's hand should cover one's heart during the raising or lowering of the flag. This is what was happening at the Olympics as the Anthem was being played and the hand over the heart is appropriate. Many people don't know this. They should.

Second on my subject list is the standing for the National Anthem.
No question in my mind here. It is to be done, if physically possible. Not only standing, but standing straight and tall and respectfully, with your hand over your heart. 

That one is my opinion. 

Here is the code:

Okay so those are the codes. These codes are meant to unify our actions and create respectful conduct towards our country and all the freedoms we enjoy. The freedoms, which are not and never have been free. They are freedoms that many have fought to preserve and many have died to protect. Our codes simply give us a way to share respect for that.

Now...why all the outrage when someone doesn't follow a code in a public forum? Because they are, in some way, representing the very country they are disrespecting. 

Yes, failure to know and follow the codes is disrespectful. It shows a lack of understanding about the country in which we thrive, or struggle. We get it very wrong sometimes and we get it very right sometimes. We are a work in progress and we will progress, these United States.

You want to protest? That's great, but find another way. Sitting through the anthem or not placing your hand over your heart is only making you look disrespectful. It's not helping your cause. Better yet, get off your ass and DO something to affect change.

And to those who think these symbols are just symbols and not deserving of a salute or any special treatment, I say research the National Anthem. Find out where the words Francis Scott Key wrote came from. 

You can find this here:

The symbol is the flag and the anthem is the flag's symbol. That flag IS much more than a hunk of cloth clipped to a pole. It is American pride and American respect.

I pray that one day soon we will all wake up and realize that respect is only to be given without conditions. It is to be withdrawn when one presents themselves are undeserving by actions and words of hate and evil.

It'a a hallmark of humanity to respect each other and our countries. It does make a difference. Hearing people say that they don't pledge allegiance to anything is disheartening to an old woman like me. This country has been kind to me. I have no other country to run to if this one throws me out, yet, I have no desire to find one. I am home. I am a proud American and that flag will always command my respect and my allegiance.

and this...

Ready to hear your take on this very hot topic...ready?