I considered writing about
living in the “now” and then realized that I have done that so many times under
other topics, it would be overkill, sorta.
Looking back, looking ahead
and living in the moment. All things in moderation, right? That’s how I live, I
guess. Remembering, looking toward our future and appreciating exactly where I
am in any given second of my life. ‘Nuff said about that.
Instead of rehashing all of
that, I’m going here ~
The world in which we live
is not the world I ever envisioned. When I thought of my future, back in the
day, I imagined a laid back kind of golden age period. I imagined being content
with very little and owning everything free and clear. I wanted an early
retirement so that we could leave for the winters and enjoy the summers. I saw
that in my dreams for many years. I would only see snow winter when we
came home for the holidays and it would be a short visit.
That isn’t my now. We are
happy with our life, but my roomy is still working 40 + hours every week
because he isn’t ready to retire. He isn’t ready to enjoy the benefits of
having worked for 55 years. I retired, for the second time, a year and a half
ago and I have not looked back. I love having my own time to do what I please
as well as my own time to do what needs to be done. When he’s ready, he’ll
wonder why he worked so many years, I think. He could retire anytime now and
I’d be good with that. For now, he’s content to work and I’m content to enjoy.
I also never imagined how
children would change in a generation.
The children that are being
raised now aren’t going to have the sense of responsibility that our
generation’s children have. They have no place to learn that being a
participant isn’t enough. They won’t know that sometimes, you need to win. They
don’t even know that they haven’t won, because they got the same reward as those
who excelled just for showing up. They are not accountable for their actions or
their words. As adults they will be looking for recognition for mediocre work
because that’s what they have known. It’s so sad to me that tomorrow’s leaders
will not have the background to make their own way and won’t know how to make
decisions. How would they know? They weren’t allowed to learn.
Parents are so involved in
their kid’s school activities or sports or dance or music and both parent and
child are running somewhere three or five nights a week after school and all
summer. Everything is structured and planned and if today’s children aren’t
attending some ‘program’ they are playing with electronics. This is certainly
not true of all kids, of course, but it’s true of way too many. Just going
outside and finding something to do with no guidance, using one’s own
imagination to create a game of some sort, isn’t done much these days.
That’s the world we live in
now. In many ways it’s so much better than when I was raising kids and in some
ways it’s so much worse. I think some big giant steps backward wouldn’t really
hurt, but that’s just an old lady talking.
Jo
From one old lady to another, I agree with you completely. Many kids today think they are "entitled" to everything, whether they earn it or not.
ReplyDeleteI think so much of what today's kids are doing is just so destructive long term and the parents feel like they are giving them everything they didn't have, but what they aren't giving them is a chance to grow up after being a child. Makes me so sad.
DeleteA lot of good points were made in your post, Jo. Too much is given without being earned. Glad you and your roomie are content with your now. : )
ReplyDeleteThanks Linda, ya know I've written many times that my life is what it is and I have so many blessings, I cannot complain. He's a good man and Momma needs me here, so I'm here and happy to be so.
Delete:)
I so agree with you! Kids are overstimulated, we try to limit our kids to one activity..no travel teams, etc(some parents think we're doing them a disservice because they are supposedly athletically 'gifted'). I also envision visiting 'winter' at my leisure, not actually living through it...we'll see. Great post as usual!
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear that you are actually parenting by your own standards! That's good news. I think when the kids WANT to do more, fine, go for it, within reason.
Delete♥
I can only control mine--and that is where I start.
ReplyDeleteMaybe in 30 years we'll be saying -- this is so much better and that is so much worse, just like we do today? Maybe in the grand scheme of things we just do the best we can and somehow it all works out?
My prayer is for wisdom, so I may steer my children in the right direction until it is their turn to navigate. At which point I'll pray they have some sort of understanding from their upbringing and can make me proud. Only time will tell!!
Cheers, Jenn.
I imagine in 30 years you'll be writing this! :)
DeleteI know that all generations think the younger ones are going to take the world to hell in a handbasket, but I do have serious doubts and concerns for the huge number of kids who are not learning about the real world until they step into it at age 18 or 22 and are just blown away by reality. It's so unnecessary.
I'd bet your kiddos get a good dose of reality on a regular basis, just based on their mama's attitude about life!
No worries. ♥
My kids are both grown - one is a sophomore in college, one is graduating from college next month. While I agree that there is too much self-esteem garbage being handed out to our children, I can tell you this - when they get out of our houses and on their own in the world - my kids both left home for college - the axis rights itself pretty darn quickly.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I believe parents can counteract the constant "attaboys" by being honest with their children about what is really needed to succeed.
I know this is true and kinda my point...some parents do a great job of counteracting the attaboys and still maintaining self-esteem in their kids, but a ton of them are on the attaboy bandwagon setting their kids up for that big slap in the face when the REAL world doesn't think mediocre is good enough.
DeleteI just say, keep it real and honest with your kids, when they do well go nuts, when they don't do so well, commiserate with them.
♥
I suppose every generation looks at the next few and wonders about what portions of the changes are positive and which are detrimental. The "everyone's a winner" mindset has been in place for a few decades now and though I'm not a fan of the concept, most (not all, that's for sure!) folks get a wake-up call once they're out on their own and realize that if they want continuing accolades, they'll actually have to earn them.
ReplyDeleteMy kids had good balance and I'm happy to see that the grands are being raised to enjoy both structured and unstructured time, and are being guided well. They're young, but are already kind, responsible little people. So far, so good.
I was just thinking about something...I think this crappy economy might be very helpful to some of the over-structured kids out there! Less money might mean the kids will be finding ways to entertain and exercise a little more than they have in the last few years.
DeleteAlthough I know there are many, many exceptions to the situation I am discussing here, it is still far too prevalent and I smile whenever I hear a mom with elementary kids saying she limits ANYTHING in the kids lives. I smile when I hear of parents parenting today and hope it is making a turn around. Not back to how I was raised, just something a little less hectic.
I am not surprised your kids are raising wonderful little people, they were raised to be wonderful parents by example.
♥
It is continually altering based on the input. Nice post Jo.
ReplyDeleteExactly right k~. ♥
DeleteI'm not an old lady, but I agree: a few steps backward wouldn't hurt! :) I have a term for those parents who feel the need to be within a 5 foot radius of their children at all times. I call them hover-rounds. *lol*
ReplyDeleteYep the hover-rounds! LOL
DeleteThanks for commenting Trish this old lady appreciates your thoughts.
♥
I watch the children of the poor in India (where I live) creating their own games and toys, while the children of the rich are bored despite all they have. What you say is so true.
ReplyDeleteI can't reply to you Corinne, don't know why, but anyway...I do believe you are right in your observation. I've seen it way too much all around me. Very sad. ♥
ReplyDeleteMy husband totally agrees with your school of thought...and sadly this is the way things are nowadays. I didn't have a computer growing up, but I did have tv. I lived out in the country far away from the city and had few friends. TV was my friend as well as books and music. I guess that is why I am sort of cerebral when it comes down to it. I didn't have to depend on the computer for my world. My world was in books...sometimes on tv (but no cable, just the regular channels...and sometimes on the radio. I don't know what I would be if I had been born in this generation. I can only surmise that I would be the same person.
ReplyDeleteI just get so worried about what these kids who are so regimented will do when they grow up. When life doesn't reward them for just 'being', when life doesn't give them a minute by minute schedule or even worse, when it does give them that, how will they function?
DeleteI hope this turns around soon. Seriously. ♥
Kids need to have play time which they direct.