HOPELESSLY DEVOTED

Hopelessly Devoted

August 28, 2012

Devotion is such an all consuming decision. In my own life I have not been devoted to a lot of things, but those I have are things which still have my complete devotion. 

I am devoted to keeping my family a unit. Not a bunch of individuals who share me, but a real connected body of humans who genuinely enjoy each other’s company. I am devoted to having my grandchildren grow up knowing and loving each other and having memories of spending time with Grandma Jo and Punkin. I want them to remember our house as a fun place with lots of hugs, kisses, laughs and good food.  I want their parents to be close throughout their lives, even after I am gone. So often you see families disintegrate after the mother passes. I so hope that isn’t the case for my family.

I am devoted to my marriage. I will not divorce again and I will not live in a miserable marriage, so I have devoted myself to making this marriage a good one. We like each other and I find that to be a very helpful tool in keeping us close and out of harm’s way. Our arguments are few and far between and I am pleased about that. I do not like arguments. I do not like drama and I do not like being angry. It has taken a few years to figure it out, but I now understand no one can really make me angry, I have to get there on my own. Someone can give me a reason to be angry, but it’s up to me to go there or stay calm and in my happy place. Sarcasm sometimes helps me out with that because sarcasm makes me happy.

My husband is not a push over, but he can be persuaded many times with logic and if that fails, threats. It works for me and sarcasm is often lost on him, so that works, too.

If he cannot be persuaded, then because I am devoted to him, I understand the issue is important to him and I give in. That works, too.

I am hopelessly devoted to being the best daughter my mom could want. I want to know that there is nothing she wishes I would do that I haven’t already done or plan to do very soon. Her comfort and her needs and wants are my priority as this point in my life and I am devoted to her simply because I love her and she needs me.

Devotion comes easily when your target is something or someone you admire, love, worship or need. My devotion is given to those people in my life who mean the most to me and also to a few causes or charities that I hope will change the world and also to my own mental and physical health.

I am devoted to God. I am devoted to living my life in grace. 

I need to maintain a certain amount of good health in order to carry out my devotion to others, so I try to do that. Sometimes, I’m good at it, sometimes the Twinkies, the  chocolate cake, Belgium Dark Chocolate, chips with Nutella or French fries win.

My mental health is preserved (?) by writing. All the words that bang around in my head all day and some nights must be written or typed. The stories must be shared. The thoughts or lessons or ideas must be documented because being hopelessly devoted to sanity seems a good thing.

And right this minute I am devoted to getting this posted and getting some sleep. 

Jo