Raising a family means teaching your kids how to make good decisions and also how to live with the results if they make poor ones. I remember many times biting my lip when my teenagers made decisions which were clearly not well thought out, but they needed to see and live with the consequences. They needed to learn and they also thought I knew nothing; so they needed to learn that might not be accurate as well. I don't know much, but I do know more about life than most teenagers so I felt fairly superior most of the time.
As a grandparent, I am equally concerned with watching my grandchildren learn to make good choices. I am often impressed with their ability at pre-teen ages to think through what consequences might occur. Does that go away when they turn 13? I can't really remember my kids being quite as good at this process as the babies are. I sometimes see one of them actually thinking! Maybe even talking it over with me and (are you ready for this?) listening to my response! Yes, my kids didn't do that. They would sit with glazed eyes while I gave my thoughts, but never listened. I love that they are actually learning decision making at younger ages and their parents are allowing the lessons of poor decision making to be played out. It's tough, but it's so necessary.
Now our house is a whole different story!
In this house the decisions are made by lengthy discussions where both sides freely speak their views and then a period of thinking and evaluating follows. In a day or a few hours or a week, depending on how big the decision is and how far apart the two views are, more discussion which ends with, "Whatever you want to do. I don't care." Those words will be spoken by Roomy and what they actually mean is, "I plan to either blame you for this not working out or share the credit if it works." I can live with that.
I am a thinker througher. I must think money costing decisions through until I am either convinced that we will enjoy some benefit from the spending or the house will increase in value for the expenditure, when it's time to sell or preferably both! Once I am at that place, the decision is made to go ahead or chuck that idea. I may act on the go ahead immediately or begin to save for it, depending again on how large this investment might be.
Now, the decisions made by Roomy, with little input from moi, would involve his truck, his lawn stuff and his lawn. Those things, not my area. Whatever he needs or wants is good with me and I'll budget it somehow or another. He asks for very little and when he does, I know it has come after a long time of contemplating. He's a thinker througher, also.
It would be fun for you to know some of my not so good decisions to date, but not so fun for me to recall, so I'll skip that.
His not so good decisions have been very few and I can't even think of one right now. The reason for that is obvious, I am the idea person! Roomy thinks everything is fine just as it is. Nothing ever needs to be updated or maintained, just repaired if it absolutely will not work. If you can jiggle it and make it work, it's all good. Therefore, since he seldom makes a decision, he seldom makes bad ones!
Wanna share you bad decisions? Feel free to do so below in the comments!
Jo
You two crack me up! But, I agree with being able to watch the grandkids thinking...I love that. Nice job, and thank you for sharing a part of yourself.
ReplyDeleteHey, I am writing! LOL I have had quite a vacation here on this end. I am so far behind since I never read until I write on a subject. Three subjects I missed! Yikes! Well, here is one and the other two will be done soon. Then reading!!!!!!!!!!!!
DeleteThanks, Leigh for reading and cheering me on.
Nice read Jo, almost the same here beginning with why do you want to do that? and ending with that really turned out nice. Enjoyed it, grandkids are always so smart. Velda
ReplyDeleteThanks, Velda. We do have the smartest grand babies! I think we share a lot of things, maybe because our guys are both older and not really interested in what we do with our homes? Maybe, just the outcome. LOL
DeleteThanks for sharing. ♥
When my three kids were younger, parental advice was perceived differently by each child. One would do as we said, the other would try to convince us to change our opinions, while the third would do what she wanted regardless of what we said. As adults, they are typically good decision makers, although the one who would try to convince someone otherwise hasn't changed . . . or taken our advice in the job hunt--thus leading to poor decision making. It's hardest to tell an adult child what to do.
ReplyDeletehttp://joycelansky.blogspot.com
You are correct about that, Joyce. I try not to actually give advice, but my kids are in their 40's and now and then they ask my opinion, but it's more of a courtesy thing or just a way to air out their own thinking and I try not to give direct advice, but rather an opinion of what I might do in similar situations. That being opposed to what THEY should do.
DeleteThey are all pretty good at making good choices and when they screw up, they don't ask for help getting out! That's all I could ask.
Within your post the legacy of "free will" thrives! Since Adam & Eve decided to eat the apple, 220 trillion decisions have been made...and counting...:) May yours get a little easier and may the reards of the "right ones become more fruitfull! Have an awesome 2013! (unless you decide otherwise...LOL)
ReplyDeleteThanks Marc...the "reards" usually equal the effort of the decision, I think. Wishing you an awesome 2013, as well.
DeleteYou're such a good man with such a warm heart, such a pleasure to know you.
From one thinker to another, good post. I have been known to analyze something to death before making a decision but Kenneth is actually worse than I am.
ReplyDeleteFrom one thinker to another, good post. I have been known to analyze something to death before making a decision but Kenneth is actually worse than I am.
ReplyDeleteI was never a procrastinator, but I do like to just sorta ponder!
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