I find memories are making me smile, rather than cry. I understand on a deep level that I did survive a year without seeing her face, touching her tiny hands or hearing her sounds. She made a lot of little sounds. I still really miss her. I still feel a little lost in this world without her. I also know she is in my mirror, in my heart, in my words often and all around me in her possessions. I am settled in her absence now rather than upset by it. I know she is strong and happy and has found her reward. She will be waiting for me.
I will run to her.
For the days I have left, I will try to be the loving child she raised. I will try to forgive and move on from hurt. I will encourage my children and grandchildren endlessly, as she encouraged me. I will find strength when it appears nonexistent, as she did many times.
I will celebrate and honor her by being the best me I can create.
I will live in the now and count my blessings rather than pine away or wish away my numbered earthly days.
Jo
💜JoJo
What a beautiful, heart-warming post Jo... I know she is up in heaven smiling down on the wonderful, amazing daughter she raised and giving her blessing every step of your way.. I'm happy that you can smile with your memories now. My dad has been gone almost 10 yrs. and I still cry.. I'm sending you lots of love and big hugs from Idaho, big, big hugs!!! Great photos.. Beautiful x two! <3
ReplyDeleteI still cry...a lot. But not every time I think of her. I can smile or laugh at so many memories or reminders now. What we had was such a blessing and I'm filled with gratitude for that.
DeleteThank you.
What a beautiful post Jo! I realize how hard it must be for you, after having her actively staying with you so she was there all the time. I never saw my Dad as much as I'd have liked and I still miss him terribly 6 yrs. later. Happy that you smile more than cry...there will come a time when you'll just smile, and remember how much her love molded your life!
ReplyDeleteIt takes a while, but the smiles and giggles do return with the memories. There are still moments of intense loss and sadness, but they slowly become fewer and farther between. It takes time to heal, and to learn to live. Somehow we do though, and time marches on. We never ever forget.
ReplyDeleteIt takes a while, but the smiles and giggles do return with the memories. There are still moments of intense loss and sadness, but they slowly become fewer and farther between. It takes time to heal, and to learn to live. Somehow we do though, and time marches on. We never ever forget.
ReplyDelete