Just Smile

Try not smiling when Jayne and nephew Jackson are entertaining.  Aunt Jayne is fun!


 

 You lost a tooth? Can ya smile?  Madee tries really hard, but look at that hole?  :( 

     

I think Punkin is funny, too.  You can't hang out with my roomy and not smile.
Brianna and Mallory got a good giggle goin'!

Gary giving his only daughter away...smiling?  She sure is. Stephanie on her way to becoming Mrs. Walser.

The bride and groom and Chloe and Hailee...that makes me smile.  :)

My baby on his 40th birthday. I may have smiled a bit more than John did, but that's because my "I just had a baby" excuses might be getting old now.




Those are some of the reasons I smile everyday. I just think it feels better than crying.  And I'm not real good at frowning, I'm really ugly when I frown.   :C  
See?

Ya know, life is just too short to go around looking ugly.

Jo

My Brag Book

There are so many things I could brag about. I mean my children are all geniuses and model material. (I see you rolling your eyes).
My 9 grand daughters are perfection in pink with IQs off the charts! My one grand son, well, there has not been a more handsome or brilliant boy ever born. (Again with the eyes?)  And my brother married a beautiful nurse who managed to nag him into work side by side with him to build a chain of three reputable pet stores which they eventually sold and are now retired and living nicely in their Chicago area home AND their Florida home. (No soup kitchen for them, yet.)  And my beautiful sister who my children think walks on water because she always has lovely and loving things to say about all of our kids and their babies both to their faces and behind their backs. (No, really, she IS that nice!)
And I've spoken of Momma often here so most of you already know what an amazingly loving momma I have. She is the my buddy, my shopping partner, (neither of us like to shop, but have to sometimes) and she loves me unconditionally almost all the time. (I'm not as nice as my sister.)  My husband is just about the best ever was, except for the not picking up after himself thing, but I'm still working on that. It's only been 29 years, 11 months, 2 weeks and a day or so.  There's still time for improvement.

But, you know what I want to brag about?  ME.  (eyes, again? stop it, right now).  Yep, me. I'm gonna tell you one of the things I accomplished on my own, pretty much and I use it everyday.
I wanted a computer back in the early '90s.  They were expensive and no one I knew had one in their home yet.  Then my brother (the store owning one, oh, that's my only brother) bought one. He connected it to his stores and could then check in on their receipts at the end of the day. How cool is that?, I'm thinking.   So I start looking around and talking to the one person I know, one of my clients, who owns one and has 2 sons who know how they work, kind of. They were learning quickly and they were kind of excited to teach me how to compute.  

I get an inexpensive used IBM.  I don't even know how to turn it on. Seriously. I wait a few days until my client and friend comes to the salon and helps me get it all set up. I'm going to use it at work for now and later I'll try that two computers talking to each other thing with my home machine.  She did get me started with a great afternoon of learning the basic DOS language and making me cheat sheets to refer to until I was comfortable with my software. In a couple of months I was keeping my own books on my Peachtree Acct. program.  Running my schedules on the word processor and writing on the same.  I was loving this machine and I wanted to know all about it.

It was about 2 years before I first saw 'windows'. WOW!  No more DOS?  Well, only for fixing. I wanted to know how to fix so I started reading manual and books and talking with the sons who knew how to fix minor things and add memory and do a lot of things I thought I could do. I added more memory to my IBM and to my first home computer all by myself. I put a new motherboard in my first computer when it was about 6 years old. I replaced the floppy disk drive in that same machine when it just quit working.  I did all of those repairs by reading the manuals and the packaging of the replacements.

I learned and I studied on my own and finally, I GOT THE INTERNET! My learning was unstoppable now!  The world was at my finger tips.  IF I could just learn to stay on task.  That internet led me in a million different directions and hours would pass and I would have forgotten what I started to research.  (You have, too and you know it!)  But I did learn a lot of basic fixes.  

I am bragging about this because I am not a young 'un and I wasn't  then. I am bragging because now at 62 I am probably more computer savvy than my kids.  I'm bragging because I think it's super cool when my techie kids call me and ask me how to do something!  Or they're going to get a new laptop and call to ask my opinion before they shop.  Oh, yeah!  I'm kewl like that.  And I have not lost my love of tappity tapping on these keys!

In my next life, I'm gonna be a Best Buy Geek.  I'm gonna drive one of those little black and white Geek Mobiles.  Oh, yes I am.

Jo 

My Favorite Movie

I am not a giant movie buff, not by any means. The last movie I saw in the theater was either Titanic or Shrek, I'm not even sure.  But I do watch some on Sunday afternoons in the winter months on the great cable channels. A lot of westerns (Roomy is addicted) and I will watch any Elvis movie that's on. I really enjoy all of those.

As for a favorite movie, if I were forced at gunpoint to choose one, it would have to be  Blue Hawaii.  It is not only probably Elvis' best performance, it has music that I can sing along with and my favorite all time song, The Hawaiian Wedding Song.  The scenery is nice and I have actually frolicked in the bay where Elvis first donned his white very snug bathing suit coming directly from the airport upon his return to his home island following his Army stint.  He then played in the bay with his beautiful co-star, what's her name. (who cares?)  I walked in the same sand and I swam in the same water as Elvis. Very cool. Then he goes home to see his momma and daddy (very southern folk) and the story begins to unfold.

I have seen this movie many times, have it on VCR and DVD and I never get tired of seeing my idol as Chadwick the rich ex-service man trying to find his new life back home on the island.  It's a nice story, nothing deep, nothing socially redeeming, but a nice love story.  A story of a good man trying to do good things for people he loves. No one would even make this movie today; there's no nudity, no swearing, no blow 'em up scenes and it contains a lot of kissing and hugging with clothes on.  There's a lot of singing and dancing and silliness and I love it.

I would say if I had a second favorite, not saying I do, but if I did, it would be Dirty Dancing. Patrick Swayze.  Nuff said.

Jo

 

 

Simplicity & Gratitude

Combining Simplicity and Gratitude prompts today.  Gratitude for BFF  Friday and for Sunday’s GBE2, Simplicity.  Let’s see where this takes us, shall we?

Almost every young family or couple that I know today is way too busy. What does that mean?  Well, they work full time jobs or maybe 2 or even 3 part time jobs in order to pay their bills and they have children and hobbies or friends and family that require some of their time away from those children or each other, in some cases. 

The jobs these young men and women have secured in this crazy economy, might require long drives daily or perhaps they are required to travel, either regularly or now and then.  Point being, that a job isn’t usually 9-5 anymore. It’s longer regular hours, or it’s nights instead of days or it’s two days off but not together.  Some jobs require week-end gatherings or maybe they have to host parties for clients or co-workers in their own homes or at some meeting place.  Meetings, there’s another time consumer.  Meetings used to be on the clock during business hours and some still are, but many are now events at some hotel or conference hall located near or far from the usual work place. Those can take a day or two away from home.  It’s obvious that jobs steal a lot of family time from today’s young parents and couples.  I think that’s a shame and I wish they would all step back and reassess their life choices.  A good job is very difficult to find right now, but these days of raising one’s family or building a foundation for their lives together are days they can never get back. It is a part of their history that forms their future and the ties that are not formed now, cannot be formed later. The all-encompassing jobs are better left to later in life when time away isn’t such a high price.

Being so busy day and night and not having real connection time becomes a way of life for so many people and they never realize what they have missed out on until they are living with teenagers.  Teenagers they hardly know and who don’t know their parents; they just share a house and maybe a car. It’s a recipe for disaster. Teenagers are very difficult to get close to if they don’t have a background of closeness.

Simplicity in your life while you are creating your family is an excellent plan.  Time for grandparents and time for siblings won’t be so difficult to work out. In the long run, the job is a job and can be lost in a moment. Your family is forever, if you allow them to be that important in your life. If you don’t simplify your life now, it will be way too simple one day.

Fewer obligations in your everyday life will allow you to grow and develop a good foundation for the rest of your life and the biggest prize for having simplified now is that you will have much to be grateful for in your senior years.  You will have family who knows you and loves you. You will have people you genuinely care for and whose company you actually enjoy. They are the people who know you and share your history. The people you will tell stories with and about for the rest of your life. They are the top of your gratitude list.

Simplicity = Gratitude.

Live your lives with your priorities intact. You don’t have to be rich before you hit 50, but you do have to bond with people long before that to have a close and loving relationship for your lifetime.

Jo

Being All That I Can Be

The Writer’s Post #36 ~ Writer’s Choice

Winter means staying in much more than is healthy. It means I am house bound by choice. I do not like being outside in the cold or the snow or the wind. The sunshiny days are better than the gloomy ones, but for me, they all pretty much present the same challenge. How do I get through until summer returns? One more day. Then one more. That’s the only way.

Life goes on pretty much as usual except that I don’t smile as much and I don’t enjoy as much. I don’t even think that I care as much.

I’m talking about the every day things that I really love in the summer. The clean house with the sun shining through it always makes me smile and cleaning it so that can happen, well, that just makes me happy. Cooking healthy and nutritious meals is fun when the grill is handy and not requiring a parka to enjoy standing outside cooking something yummy. Making a big ole salad with freshly grilled chicken or steak from the grill sliced over the top makes me down right giddy.  Getting laundry done early in my day so that I can have lots of time outside in the afternoon and evening, oh yeah, I love doing that.  I’m talking about little things like, coffee on the deck in the morning sun or even a light rain with the awnings opened.  The warmth and the freshness of the morning air always gets me going in a good direction.

Those are the things my life thrives with. None of those things exists here from November until at least April.  That’s tough for someone like me.  And I know there are many like me.

That’s why I write about it now and then. That’s why I write about it at all. It helps me to think maybe someone who is like me, will read one of my blogs and feel just a little less odd. That is how I feel almost all winter. Not sad, like many people think. Not suicidal, just odd and out of sorts. Blah, without any joy. If anything bad is going to happen, I feel like the winter and fall is when it will happen. I don’t look for it. I don’t wait for it. I don’t even think about it. I just know that anything bad will be much more likely in the fall and winter months.  Not logical since I have suffered some very sad and heartbreaking things in the heat of my beloved summer. More than a couple of them and yet, I never associate summer with loss. 

There are happy days in the fall and winter, don’t misunderstand, but they are the oddity rather than the rule. Summer is full of happy days with the rare off or even sad day.

Being the best I can be, means I have to trudge on and look for, yes actively look for, happy things during the SAD season.  I find them, too. I make some of them happen by choosing not to be alone.  By choosing to be with people I love and who make me laugh. It’s such a difficult thing to do sometimes because what I really want to do, I mean totally want to do, is stay home and sit or nap or curl up on the couch and do nothing. Some days I let myself do that and others, I have to take control and drag my butt up and outside for fresh air and human contact of the non-roomy kind. He indulges me way too much. He’s an enabler. If I wanna just stay home, he says, “Okay”. He works hard and staying home is good for him.

Being the best I can be, means I can’t be what I feel like being, I have to be what I know keeps me going. It means I have to convince myself to get out in the cold and do something even if it doesn’t sound fun. It will be fun. It will make me feel better.  It will help make this day pass because that gets me one day closer to my blooming and shining season. 

Jo

Solitude

Back when the kids and I were living on our own, I used to watch the clock until it was their bedtime. Not to say that I didn’t enjoy talking with them or playing games with them, I did, sometimes. As a single working mom, I would get home from work and make dinner. Following our meal there were dishes to do, I did them while the kids finished their homework. Laundry would be done most nights immediately following the dishes and a little arguing often was involved. Oh, you know, “Where are your dirty clothes? I’m going to wash clothes, is there anything you want to bring down from your room?”  That doesn’t sound like arguing to you? Oh, I will fill you in then.  Those are the questions I would pose while doing the dishes and they would be about 5 feet away. Their responses would nearly always be, “No, nothing. Mine are all down here. I brought mine down this morning,” or similar things to that. No one ever ignored me or got up to go get something, EVER.  I don’t even know why I bothered to ask these angels such ridiculous questions. Such a silly mom!

So the laundry would get done, folded and laid on the stairs for them to carry up when they went again. On the fourth trip up, I would say something like, “Wanna take those clothes?” That question would float into the air, apparently unheard by anyone other than the speaker. (This would eventually lead to my loudly suggesting they get theirs lazy butts back down here and pick those clothes up or I would be tossing them in the garbage in 5-4-3-2-1 damned minute!)

At bedtime, not a moment before, one would say, “I need my navy pants tomorrow for band.” Or some other piece of clothing for some other activity. “I can’t find them!  Moooooooooooom!  I can’t find my navy pants (or whatever)! Where ARE they (or it)?”

I would take a deep breathe and say, “I didn’t wear them (or it) so I don’t know.”  Sarcastic, you say?  Yes, I am.

“OH, NO! THEY’RE (OR IT’S) DIRTY!  MOOOOOOOOOOOM?  CAN YOU WASH THEM?”

Well, of course, I CAN, but I’m not going to. “No, I am done washing for the day.  You may put them (or it) in to wash and in the morning put them (or it) in the dryer while you shower. That is why I ask you every night to bring me your damned dirty clothes!”  My voice may have raised a few octaves while making my point.

Did you notice the slight arguing there? Repeated several times a week, it’s memorable for me.  ♥

That is why I watched the clock.  They would go to bed and I would have it.  I would have SOLITUDE.  Me, alone with myself time. Time to think about me and my life. My life was making a living for my babies and me. Paying bills and trying to find a little extra cash here and there for some fun things. It was far from an easy life, but it was a good life.

Yep, they drove me nuts with their irresponsible behavior and their inability to see what needed to be done around our house. I wished day and night that they would, just one time, pick up something BEFORE I asked or shouted at them to do just that. I hoped they would make good decisions and was often disappointed with their choices. BUT they were my purpose. I lived for these little people and I prayed that I would be able to mold them, just a bit, into independent and confident adults.

We all look back at our “No, we cannot afford that~who do you think I am, a Rockefeller?” days as some of our best ones.  We did a lot of simple things. Things we did, we did together as a family. I saved a few dollars here and there until we could go to Detroit to see the Tigers. It was our favorite ‘get away’ and it was always a big deal day.  On the way to the park I would always remind them that we could each have one hot dog and one coke.   Or peanuts instead of the hot dog. I was always too full to eat a hot dog, but peanuts could be shared, so I opted for those. They knew and understood our limited budget. Maybe I shared too much, but they knew what was realistic for us and they accepted it without much whining. We all loved that day at the ball park and I managed one every summer while I was single. 

I remember the solitude of the later night very well and in fact, I have never given that up.  I am now married nearly 30 years and the chitlins are long grown and raising their own fams , yet I still love my solitude and probably will always.  My alone time to write, read, watch TV, nap, play games, browse the internet, knit or even just sit outside and enjoy.

The most perfect solitude for me, sitting by the pool with a nearby umbrella just inhaling summer in Michigan. I try to fill my body with summer heat, sun and green plush grass so that I won’t be too horrid in the winter white of the usual Michigan winter.  It never really works, I miss summer the very first moment I feel fall in the air.  But my solitude is still mine and still very precious.

Jo

The Tears of a Clown

It would seem that you can look someone in the eye and know with whom you are conversing.  Ah, but that just isn’t true. Behind the façade many people show to the world is a broken or wounded human. One filled with such pain as to be unbearable and possibly irreparable.  You won’t know that though; not unless they choose, at some point to stop laughing and making you laugh, long enough to allow you inside. Inside to the heart that hasn’t healed. Many people refer to these folks as the clown hiding the tears. Laughing on the outside while crying on the inside.

What would make someone, anyone, want to bottle up their pain and show the world only the happy and carefree face of a clown? Love. Wanting love, wanting to be able to give love and needing not to be the sad one, the broken one, the one who never got over the loss. There are losses one cannot get over. There are heartbreaks that last a lifetime and there are things one can never, ever forget or release. What one can do, however, is hide it and move on. Hide it from friends and sometimes even family and just smile. Look for the sunny side of everything and keep the darkness for alone time. Keep the sadness for the nights and the tears for the pillow. Pray daily for strength to really accept and move on while pretending to do that. Pretending so hard that everyone believes it has happened, if you are the clown. And if you are the one who always brings the sunshine into every room you enter. You always have a smile and you always have a deep, from the toes laugh to share with everyone you meet. No one walks away from you without feeling just a little better than when they walked in. That’s how it’s done. Oscar worthy acting.

Behind the antics of most clowns, I believe, lies the heart of a tender and easily crushed soul. I find the life of the party people are the most easily hurt and those hurts are often much deeper than an onlooker would imagine. The clown will not let you see that. The smile will hide from you any pain you may have caused. Be wary of the clowns in your life and treat them with care. They are truly fragile and needy.

The tears are never far beneath the surface, waiting for the night.

Jo