INSOMNIA?

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Today's host is ... Susan M. Dusterhoft and her entry can be found here (click)


What keeps you awake? That is Susan's question for the day.


I am a great sleeper. I can literally sit down or lie down and fall asleep. Almost without fail, I will just nod off for an hour or maybe two. That is during the day or evening. Now at bedtime, which for me is usually between 2 and 3 a.m, I may or may not drift off easily.

If my brain is working things out, trying to figure out where I need to be or what I need to do, I may be awake well into the morning. I have about one of these every couple of months. I don't really see it as a problem because I know it is my inability to settle my brain that keeps me awake. I have learned that once I figure out what I can do or realize I can do nothing, I can sleep. I credit prayer with this relief.

Let Go ~ Let God = good night's sleep.

I also find that using a fair amount of physical energy during my day is necessary for a really good night's sleep. If I have been sedentary most of the day, say writing or reading and not moving around much, I will likely wake up throughout the night. Easily falling back to sleep, but waking not very well rested. I apparently require a certain amount of getting off the buns and moving about to earn a full night's sleep.

On the very rare occasion that sleep eludes me and my brain is calm, I blame the total lack of hormones in my body and therefore, my inability to cool my body. It will, every now and then, flair up and try to cause my entire being to spontaneously combust. Those nights require a trip outside. If it's winter a quick trip to the deck for a few minutes will work. If it's summer, I may have to step into the pool to cool myself. Once the fire is extinguished, I can usually fall right to sleep.

Oh, this aging thing is just a riot. Something new every year!

Jo

LIFE OF THE PARTY

Every party, every gathering of two or more people gives us the chance to be the observer who is entertained by the 'stars' or an opportunity to 'star' at the event. I don't know about you, but I have most certainly done both.

Given the choice of those two things, I would normally choose the 'star' roll because to be honest, I like attention. Might even be called an attention whore. I love to host parties because that in itself can sort of make me a 'star'. At least everyone who attends will greet me, thank me, probably spend some time during the party talking with me and of course, will be certain to tell me good-bye when they leave. I am pretty much guaranteed of some attention and if the group is a lively one, I may prefer to watch and be entertained. If they are just sit around and talkers, I may then feel the necessity to be the entertainer. I'm pretty comfortable being either.

A friend and I were out of town with our husbands for a week-end of softball. They were umpiring and she and I were shopping, getting haircuts and making friends. She is very outgoing and much like me, will start a conversation with most anyone we run across. That being said, it's quite easy to understand how we sort of took over the salon while we (without appointments) waiting for our haircuts. We sat in the waiting area of this lovely small town, privately owned salon and offered our services as consultants to all the waiting clients. We just had a ball. I think (remember here that I was a hairdresser at this time) helped them out quite well and saved the hairdressers some time they normally might have spent consulting! We didn't even charge them for our service.

After getting our hairs cut, very nicely, I might add, the salon owner invited us to a wedding reception being held that very evening in a local restaurant.  How nice was that?  Well, we declined but were very flattered by the invite.  She told us we would add some flare that she was pretty sure this reception could use.  We all laughed and made a few jokes about such get togethers and my friend and I were on our way out and off to do some shopping.

In the first store, a clothing store, we started messing around with the clerk who was trying to help us out. She was a riot. Had a lot of great style ideas, if we had been 20 instead of 40+, but that just added to our fodder and the jokes continued. We made a few purchases and as we were leaving, the clerk invited us to her house that evening for a party she was hosting for her son's high school graduation.  Yep a graduation party!

I would say I was the co-star that entire week-end. My friend Ann and I have been known to bring down more than one house in laughter over the years and that week-end was no different.

Our husbands were not at all surprised when we told them we had some invitations for the evening, but they just wanted to go to dinner and have a couple drinks.

At the restaurant that night we were still laughing and the men were kind of doubting some of our story. That made us laugh even more. Out of nowhere one of the stylists from the salon comes over to us and says, "I can't believe you guys aren't coming back to the reception!  You're here, you may as well come back and party with us. Why buy drinks out here when you could come back and drink on Mary's credit card?"

The guys just started looking at each other, shaking their heads and then, well, cracking up!  No more doubts about who might be exaggerating and no more doubts about exactly how sociable their wives were.

Life is so much more fun when you just go around making new friends wherever you go. Don't you agree?

Jo

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THE VISIT

POV…1^st person

I have to visit my friend. Yes, have to. I wanted to visit yesterday and catch up and laugh with him and do what we always do. I wanted to have a nice lunch and then lounge at the restaurant with a cup of coffee and remember fun times or discuss what each of us is currently writing or maybe even talk about his successful novel. I loved to hear how excited he was to finish the final edit. How he told the publisher that he had just written the best book they would ever peruse and possibly the best book ever written. He was sure his bullshit was what made them read his sample.

Instead, I am visiting my friend at the funeral home. As I enter, I see smiling faces and groups of people, some I know, some I do not. His children are near the entrance so I walk directly to them. I really want to speak, but I have no words. I hug each of them and walk to the casket. I pray and I make him a promise. The pain in my heart is unbearable and I need to go. The lightness in this room in inappropriate for my state of loss.

Alone, walking to the car I keep myself together. Once inside, the dam breaks and I am engulfed in my grief and holding my own face with a tissue covering my hands, I simply weep. The drive home is lonely and I remember so much. I am grateful he is not in pain and not lingering on life support.

His time is up and he is heading to his reward. Based on my feelings for him and my knowledge of his life, he is going to be very pleased with his eternity. He deserves all the goodness heaven can offer. He was a good friend and my writing for publication is all because he told me that I was good enough. I believed him. I miss him.

POV…3^rd person

It’s over. His pain is gone and she can say goodbye with a heavy heart. Jo had anticipated a much longer time with her friend, but the Lord had other plans. Ed’s failing heart had simply worn out. He had been called home and all that remained for Jo was to pay her respects and then figure out how to be a writer without her muse. She headed for the funeral home alone.

Walking into the funeral parlor she was overcome by the number of people who seemed not to be heart-broken. They were smiling and shaking hands. She was not ready for this she wasn’t ready to lose him and everyone seemed to have let him go. Didn’t they know what she knew? Didn’t they know she needed him in her life? Didn’t they care?

She wasn’t able to smile at his children. She hugged them and said nothing. She prayed for his soul, though she knew he was already home.

The tears on her cheeks were for her loss, not his. She lowered her head, signed the guest book and walked alone back to her car. Once inside, she let the tears and the heartbreak take over. She completely broke down and gave in to the grief that would be with her for some time.

Her friend, her mentor and her muse had left her to carry on without his constant support and encouragement. He left her with the confidence to continue and she left his lifeless body with a promise to honor him by never forgetting that she was good enough.

Jo

LOOKING FOR YOUR INPUT

If your life was on the line, literally, someone was about to pull the trigger if you didn't tell them honestly...
how would you answer one of these questions.  You may choose the one you wish to answer.

1)  What is the single most important object (something that can be bought or sold) in your life?

2) What is your most valuable asset?

3) Money is no object, but time is, you have 2 minutes to select something for purchase. What is it?


Wanna play?  Run down to the comments and let 'er rip!

RESTROSPECTIVE

At this point in my life looking back doesn’t really make me smile a lot. I am so much more into looking at where I am and a little time spent looking ahead.  This prompt by Elizabeth makes me think she is feeling melancholy this autumn.  The past few posts have required one to either look back and reflect or explain why that isn’t going to happen.  While I value my past for all it has brought to me, I am leaving it behind this week because with the autumnal bleakness I face every year, I am moving forward and relishing the warmth these days are still providing.

As I toss out my once blooming and prized potted flowers, cut down the drying and dying perennials, put away the no longer needed patio furniture, close the pool and basically get ready for the next season, I am also enjoying the sun and the relative warmth of September 2012. The sun has refused to hide most days, even if it is peaking in and  out, those ‘outs’ make me happy.  We haven’t actually put everything away yet. I have taken a few extra chairs and tables to the barn, but it still looks pretty summery, on the deck and poolside. The flowers are nearly all gone. Two pots are still trying to hang on, still blooming and looking pretty good, so they have been spared. The front pots are still there, though they should be gone. I still see some color, so I’m giving them another week or two.  The day lilies are still blooming and the roses are beautiful. They remain.  

The pool closing will probably be next week one day and that will prompt me to put the pool deck furniture away. The deck on the house will remain furnished until it’s too cold for coffee on the deck and then …well, it has to go.

The upcoming winter will be here and gone before we know it. I am saying this because in retrospect, I need to believe that.  I will be able to smile, laugh and enjoy my life if I believe and remind myself often, it is only 5 months!  Christmas falls in the midst of those 5 months, but that isn’t really as big a thrill as it used to be when everyone could be home for the day. Now we just run around and visit and then come home and collapse. No need for the holiday preps or the shopping for the dinner and snacks, no big baking days or other traditional holiday plans, just shop for the babies and deliver their stuff, watch them rip them open and share a meal with each family separately and head home. It isn’t bad, but it isn’t a family Christmas. And it exhausts Momma. So the relief I used to feel at getting to the holidays is gone. 

 

In retrospect, I am a blessed and happy woman who is loved by many people and who loves them right back with all my heart. I get to do pretty much whatever I want to do most days and I do enjoy retirement a LOT. I married a guy who will eat just about anything I cook and usually tells me he liked it or loved it. I love cooking so that is also a blessing, no fussy eaters in this house. My hobbies and craft ideas and home improvement ideas keep my days busy and my mind working. My good health allows me to soak up all this glorious sunshine while it is available and walk around the yard and enjoy the flowers that are hanging on and the grass which is brilliantly green right now.  Blessings all around and I am aware and I am ever so grateful for each of these and a million more things.

Sure, I could look back and write AGAIN about something that happened in my past that helped to create the somewhat skewed attitude I am carrying around with me now, but then I’d have to re-live it and honestly, with autumn looming, I cannot afford to risk my fairly stable mental health doing that today or anytime soon. I will instead enjoy this day, those blessings I have been given and I will smile. Wishing each of you (3 or 4) readers a most pleasant day and to all the lovers of this season, I say, it looks like a lovely one and football season is in full swing, so go and enjoy!  I’ll be in here writing, reading, knitting or sleeping, making something out of nothing and trying NOT to look outside. 

Jo

BOTTOM

• The best chips are at the bottom of the bag. I love the overcooked and broken pieces that fall to the bottom where all the extra salt lands. Mmm
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• The best ideas come at the bottom of the list of possibilities. The more you ponder your options, the more likely you will make a wise choice.
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• The “thing” you are looking for is often in the bottom of a drawer or box.
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• Although we think of the bottom as a negative thing, often, it can be a very good thing.
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• The “to do list” is a motivator and then as you cross off the last thing, the one on the bottom, you feel so GOOD.
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• Looking in the mirror from over your shoulder gives you a distorted view of your bottom. Probably not a flattering view, either.
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• Hitting rock bottom can be the best time of your life. It can be the moment you realize you cannot move forward alone. You reach out for help or you demand help or you sink into hopelessness. Few people can return from the rock bottom of life without someone providing assistance of some type. Sometimes it’s just the right words or a hug at the right time. Sometimes it’s a few dollars, a big of groceries, a job offer or a ride to the addiction facility. Whatever the need, the key often comes from someone else. The acceptance must come from the one on the rock bottom.
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• Every now and then I see a prompt in this writing group and am instantly inspired. This time, not so much. I was dragging my own bottom trying to take it somewhere and decided to ramble. After all, a wandering mind can’t be expected to be brilliant every time, right? 
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•  I said, RIGHT?
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• Perhaps brilliance will flow from the fingertips next time…for now, peace, love and faith to all from the bottom of my heart.
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• Jo

POLITICS

Just because you have always voted Democratic, you don’t have to repeat that action. If you have always voted Republican, you don’t have to this time.

I know that sounds elementary, but seriously, I believe most people fall into the trap of believing that those parties are what they are putting in office. It is not true. You are voting for PEOPLE. And who they are does matter. If it doesn’t matter because you believe your party represents your beliefs, please take some time to really think about that and look at history and look at the people currently representing that party. Do THEY represent your beliefs? Better than the other parties candidate?

Mitt Romney is not the same man his father was. His father was a stand up man with his state being his motivating factor. He wanted Michigan to soar like the eagles so he could possibly run for President and use that history to gain his desired position. He was a good man. He made decisions for our state that helped the people who live here. Not the people who hire the people who live here, alone. ALL the people who struggle and all the people who hire and all the people who can’t do either were helped by Governor George Romney’s administration. Did Mitt do that for Massachusetts? Did he make decisions for ALL the people of Massachusetts? Will he do that for our country, if he is elected?  Read the history. Make an educated decision.

Barrack O’bama is a democrat. He is also our President, your’s and mine. Like George W. Bush, he leads us all and we are ALL HIS responsibility. Whether you like him or not, he is OUR President. Look at his history. Read what he has done, what he has proposed. I mean read the actual documents, not the news stations interpretations of them. You may surprise yourself with what you find.

You may even find that numbers have been changed by one or both parties when reporting job increases or financial growth or lack of.

Now, most importantly, remember the Congressional behavior over the last 2 years. Remember when you walk into that booth that those men and women signed a pledge within the Republican Party to STOP any and all O’bama sanctioned bills. They promised to pass NOTHING under his presidency to ensure he could be nothing more than a 1 term President. So for 2 years they allowed our economy and our job growth as a country to be secondary to keeping O’bama limited to 1 term.  Our well-being or representing our needs was secondary to their political plans. Does that upset you? Make you happy? Make you want to give them another shot? Two years wasted. Much of our dilemma today is from 2 wasted years. Was it worth it to keep O’bama from gaining anything that might have started us on an upward climb?

When you vote, whichever way you go, please get facts. Please take the time to read the government records on voting on the issues and the bills that were passed and those that were not. Vote with education on your side. Don’t let the networks or the cable news people tell you what you think. Teach yourself to find facts. 

I believe they all lie or distort facts to get elected, but they cannot change their history of actions. Look there. Make an informed choice.

Just for fun, I’m gonna tell you that I have voted for more Republicans than Democrats, but I still feel for the most part I fall to the Democratic way of thinking. The problem is a lot of people on the democratic tickets aren’t really all that democratic.  I have always (and this time will be no different) voted for the person.

I also don’t care about the candidate’s personal lives a whole lot. I like it if they talk about their families, but I don’t care if one or both of them had affairs at some point. I don’t care if they have hobbies or what they are. I do care if they have lived a real and not privileged life. I would love for laws to change so that common people could run equally for the highest office in the land. I would love to have an opportunity to elect a real common man or woman into office. Money should NOT be a qualifier nor should it be a disqualifier. In my dreams…

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I am so disillusioned about our leadership, about this campaign on both sides. I am so tired of hearing, reading, seeing what he did wrong, what the other guy thinks. STOP IT ALL OF YOU!

Let’s hear, read and see what YOU have to offer. Tell me why YOU are my man, not why the other guy isn’t. I cannot stand negativity and I don’t need to hear what YOU think is wrong with anyone. I need to hear why I would benefit and my country would move forward with you at the helm.  That’s all.

Jo