A BFF prompt for this dreary Monday...
I am a good secret keeper, but the prompt tells me I should share one! Okay, I think I could share a couple of them, but I will just pick one today.
Have you ever wanted something so badly that you could literally taste the desire, but you knew it wouldn't just happen? You knew you had to MAKE it happen? I have something in my life that is in that category and yet I seem to lack the actual motivation to MAKE it happen. Maybe if I get it out of my head and share it, I'll then find the motivation to follow through.
I have been asked to write my Mom's story. My sister, my brother and some of the nieces and my son, for sure, would like to have this book or pamphlet, as my Mom says. I would love to write it. I want it done. I just can't seem to really start it. I have some notes from our talks. I have ideas I have jotted down and I know a bunch of stuff that I have NOT written down. I also know the best way to get this book done is to set aside a day each week and just sit and talk with her. Jogging her memory with questions until I get the story in order and fairly accurate. Some of her memories are confused with times and/or who exactly was involved. Though she is quite sure she has it right when she tells me, a day or so later she'll tell me it wasn't that at all. So, it's a process.
Why am I not full speed into this project I want to do so badly? That's the secret.
Somehow, my wandering and sometimes unstable mind seems to think that the writing of her story could mean the end of her story. There, I said it. I am afraid to sum up a life that is still going strongly. A life that is so much a part of my life that I don't really want to make it a memoir. I have tried to convince myself that it would just be a "her life to this point" book, but ...
I am so lucky to have her and I am so happy to hear these stories and even to make notes about them. I am just not sure it is a book I can write while I have the real thing in my life. I might be able to, once I get started seriously undertaking the challenge of the project, but I don't know. So far, I haven't even gotten to that point.
That's one of my deep dark secrets. No more sharing today. That's enough for me.