I have many control issues in my own life. I need to be in control of everything I am involved in, but recognize I am not always the expert and must defer to those who know more than I. (Which, admittedly, would be most everyone about most everything.) What I can't control are the things I have to learn to accept. Like the things you cannot change, if you cannot control them, you have to let them go.
Today, however, I chose to discuss something more personal. Control over ones body and mind has always fascinated me. It seems so easy to just KNOW what is right for you and what is wrong for you and then DO the RIGHT thing. Life isn't that simple nor is it that easy.
Example: I am a smoker. There it is. Shame on me. It's disgusting and dirty and completely unacceptable in the world where I live. I eat at home most of the time because I want to enjoy a smoke after I eat and can no longer do that in public. I actually choose NOT to go some places because I know there won't be any way to escape and grab a cig. That is rare, but it has happened. I have tried to quit with great sincerity several times, okay hundreds of times, because my life would be so much simpler if I weren't a smoker. Never because I just wanted to quit. I have 'succeeded' a few times in that I didn't have a cigarette for as long as 6 weeks. Then I light up one or two and in a week or less, I am a smoker again. I have never not wanted to smoke, just wanted to not NEED to smoke. I am addicted, no doubt. I am also done beating myself up over it because everyone else does a good enough job of that for me, no need to add salt to my wounds. I suppose I will try again one day to quit and I may even quit one day, but it isn't going to be today and honestly, I am okay with that. I like me and I know that I have this addiction and I also know that it's okay with me, for now. I do feel bad that others judge me by this fact severely and some see me as just a weak and nasty and stupid person who walks around smelling like an ashtray and doesn't care that I am polluting the air they are trying to breathe and doesn't care that I am killing myself. I think I am a fairly considerate smoker and wish non-smokers would be as considerate. I have NO control over either of these issues, though one would argue that I do. I do not.
Example: "You would be so beautiful~ if you would just loose some weight." I have heard this statement from people who were hurt by someone they love saying this simple sentence to them meaning to "Help" them get motivated to drop pounds.It makes me want to scream! I have said many, many times that I do NOT believe beauty is tied in anyway to the scales. Your weight, your hair color, your hair style, your sense of style, your eyes or your cute feet have nothing to do with your beauty. They are the things we try to control so that others think we are beautiful. Beautiful people are so because they have wit, giving hearts and an attitude about life that makes them glow. Beautiful people may or may not possess physical characteristics that others consider classic beauty. I think it is rare to find both kinds of beauty in one body, but it happens. Real beauty involves doing the best you can with what God gave you. This applies to both your external look and your internal being. If you strive to be YOUR best, you are on your way to winning the Beauty Contest.
If you are a few pounds heavier than you want to be or if you are morbidly obese, the choice to tackle that situation is yours to make. If you NEED to lose to be healthy, then get at it and whittle away until you achieve some measure of better health. If you need help to get there, get it. If you fail, accept it. Then decide if you wanna try it again or not. Don't beat yourself up for your weight! That isn't who YOU ARE. That is what you weigh. That's all. If dieting to make yourself "like you" more is important to you, ask yourself, "Why?", and then make a good decision that is right for you. Maybe just eating a healthier diet as a matter of lifestyle is a good choice for you. Whatever you choose to do, or not do, it will not change who you are. You either are a beautiful person or you can choose to be one. That is control we all have and can exercise at our will. What food goes in our mouth is always our choice, assuming the mental stability issue has been addressed. It just seems so unnecessary to brow beat oneself into dieting because one isn't a size 2! SO WHAT? Control who you are and what you do most of the time and call that good!
Our minds are not always so easily controlled, that's for sure. I very often know that I should be doing something in particular to better my life or someone I love's life and yet, I don't do it. I don't do it for a number of 'reasons'....too lazy, sounds like more work than I want to take on today, don't have what I need to do it so I'll put that on my list...I could go on and on, but the point is just knowing doesn't make me in control. My wandering mind sometimes just doesn't want to be controlled by right and wrong or even by good or bad. Sometimes it just likes to BE. I really don't have to control it, so far it has served me fairly well and I have no control over most of things in my life! It just is what it is.
I choose to control my faith and I choose to control my lifestyle and other than that, I choose to accept my blessings and my trials because this is the life I have been given. I do believe you get what you give and I have been given a tremendous amount of joy and good fortune with a minimal amount of pain. I'm good with that.