The Home Page

Friday, October 14, 2011

Momma's Birthday

PHOTO  STORY  TIME
BFF 132

It is nearing this beautiful woman's 89th birthday.  Please allow me to introduce you to Dorothy Lee Reed Settle. She married Donald Settle in July of 1943 while he was serving in the U.S. Army based in Missouri.  She rode a train with a lot of soldiers from Steubenville, Ohio alone to meet her fiance and would do the same for the return trip as his wife.  Their wedding was the two of them, the official performing the service who was a Chaplin.  Don's friend would serve as best man and his wife would be the maid of honor.  Nothing fancy, no big wedding gown or party just the four of them out celebrating a bit following the ceremony.  It was just fine because she would be going home Mrs. Settle and he would be going overseas with a wife waiting for his return.  She would be waiting at his parents home.  That is where she would live until he was discharged.
They managed to raise 3 children together through some very difficult and trying times, somehow all 3 of them are reasonably well adjusted and fairly normal adults today. All 3 of them love their parents and were raised with a firm yet loving hand.  She was no push over and still isn't.  

The marriage lasted 35 years.  Dad passed away after a 7 week stay in the hospital.  For the first time in her life, she was alone.  She lived nearly an hour from her daughters; nearly 5 hours from her son and nearly 7 hours from her in-laws.  She had never written a check.  She had no idea how much or how little money she had. She knew what bills came in the mail, but had never paid one. Somehow, she found incredible strength and determination and while grieving and struggling with everything new, she learned and she did things she had never even tried. She became very capable and independent.  

She maintained a large 3 bedroom tri-level home on her limited income for the next 30+ years.  She did very well.  Her anchor for all of those years was a man I call our other brother Don.  He was a driver for the company where both Mom and Dad worked.  Dad was the manager and Mom was his assistant.  After Dad died,  Mom continued as the assistant for the next 3 managers the company brought in and Don continued to drive and befriend Mom.  Eventually Mom became the manager and he worked for her, too.  She retired from that job at 62 and he then became her social network.  He helped with things around the house or took her places she needed to go that were beyond her driving comfort area.  I did a good deal of this myself, but from almost an hour away, sometimes it was easier for him.  He lived just a few miles from her.  He was and remains a part of our family and there is no way to ever thank him for all he has been to her.

Two years ago she moved here.  Just two miles from me.  She has a beautiful apartment that she can clean on her own and she is very proud and happy here.  I am more than  happy to have her here.

Exactly one week after moving here she was driving home from having her hair done in my salon which was directly across the street from her apartment, when another car hit her broadside.  She didn't see it coming at all.  I really thought I had seen my mom die.  It looked horrid from my window.  I was watching to make sure she went in the right driveway.  I ran out and met her moments after she had been helped out of her car by a witness.  Bless her heart.  She was fine.  A bruise on her hand from something, but otherwise just totally shook to her quick.  The other driver was fine.  The car was totaled. Thank you God...she was okay.  Amazing.  The gal who helped her from the car worked at the complex where she lives and offered to take home, which was just the driveway length from where the accident happened and Mom assured me she was fine and I went back to work.  I took care of the details of the car and the insurance and whatever and then went back to her place to make sure she was okay.  She just needed to sit, she said.  Within the hour, she had decided she would not be driving anymore.  She told me she knew that was her warning to stop.  So I became her wheels.  She still has no desire to drive.

I know that she loves it here.  I see the stress of home ownership gone and all she sees now is someone else has to worry if her water isn't hot or her stove doesn't work.  She takes great pride in her home and it is beautiful. We bought all new furniture when she moved.  

This week-end is her birthday week-end and I startled her today when I mentioned that she would be 89 Sunday.  She was absolutely certain she was going to be 88.  She was a little mad at me for being right, but by the time I took her home, she was joking about it.  

I love this woman.  I mean I really am so blessed to have such a woman in my life. She sacrificed for all of us, but I am the baby and I think maybe she sacrificed more for me.  Maybe it was important that I have things that I thought I needed.  I don't know why, but I think it's true.  I like being the baby.  I like being her baby.

So wishing her the happiest birthday ever and continued good health.  I love you, Momma.


                                                      ~Jo~


Momma...summer of 2011



The children...Jo, Mike & Pat







26 comments:

  1. This was lovely. This: "I like being the baby. I like being her baby." made me smile. I'm the youngest too, and loved being my mom's baby. :O)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank you Beth. She makes me smile everyday and I love that you still read my stuff, every time.
    You just rawk Sweetie.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I loved getting to know your mother. Thanks for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thanks for reading Angie, I am happy to share her! She has so much more to her story. So much more to tell. One day.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Great read Jo..I hope this is the start of your next book. I am also the baby and loved every second of it.There is a reason the baby is always mom's favorite, were better looking, smarter and have a better grip on life, having put up with older siblings bent on our distruction. Keep doing what u do..Doil

    ReplyDelete
  6. Doil...been a while since you commented! Thanks for doing that. This isn't the start of her book, it has to start way before this picture! I just wanted to do something about her birthday and the prompt of a picture from times past, well, it wrote itself. Being the baby rocks, for sure. <3 ya.

    ReplyDelete
  7. What a beautiful story Jo. Thank you for sharing that and I hope your Momma has a wonderful birthday. I know that you will make it very special. She is so blessed to have you as her daughter and I know you feel blessed to have her as your Momma.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Thank you Sharon, I will try for sure. She is the only Momma I get so I try really hard to do what she needs and wants. I'm a lucky girl.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I had the pleaure of meeting your lovely mom. Sounds like she went through a lot. Glad to see she persevered through it all. Thanks for sharing the story of your family! :)

    ReplyDelete
  10. Thanks for all the effort Sweet man...I love that you read my stuff and I love that you appreciated my Momma. She still talks about your baby girl. :) Funny, so do I!

    ReplyDelete
  11. What a wonderful woman and a wonderful story thank you sharing her for a moment. Happy Birthday to her!!& Blessings! -Chele

    ReplyDelete
  12. What an absolutely beautiful tribute to a beautiful woman! I am so glad I read this... I was just as certain the car accident was going to be disastrous when I read it as when you saw it, but Thank God she was okay! Beautiful, beautiful tribute!

    Love and stuff,
    Michy

    ReplyDelete
  13. Wow...you are so lucky! What a beautiful relationship you have with your mom. Makes me miss mine...she's so far away.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Chele...thank you so much. She is very happy today, we just returned from her 1st birthday celebration and she was smiling most of the afternoon.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Michy,...Thank you so much for stopping and commenting. She is a beautiful woman inside and out. I appreciate your praise. :) *blushing, just a bit*

    ReplyDelete
  16. Susan...I am lucky and I never forget how much more difficult it was when she was not here in my town. I am grateful everyday to have my Momma and to have her here with us just as often as she wants to be here. It is such a blessing.
    Thx.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I love this story! Thank you for sharing it and I love your Mom! I too, am the baby and I too take care of my Mom who lives 7 minutes from me. I love her so much. I was so scared reading your story when she got broadsided. I feared the worst, and was elated that she came out of it okay. ♡

    ReplyDelete
  18. Linda...thank you so much for reading and sharing. You would love her more if you knew her! She's fun. I still dream about the crash and I am overwhelmed with relief every time. I don't take care of her, she takes care of herself. I just taxi. :)

    ReplyDelete
  19. I love strong, spirited women. They demand the best from us and we adore them for it. Love to see your heart shine Jo.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Beautiful. What wonderful tribute....full of life and truth. ~Enjoy~

    ReplyDelete
  21. GpD...me, too. Thanks so much for sharing and my heart shines whenever I think of my Momma, my sibs and my kids. <3 :)

    ReplyDelete
  22. Sylvia...I appreciate your stopping by and commenting...Thank you for the compliment. :)

    ReplyDelete
  23. Your Mother is a strong woman. Even so, I am glad you moved her close to you. I also moved my Mother close to me many years ago. I took care of my Mom for 15 years, so I certainly know how full your plate is.

    As for being the baby...LOL...I'm the oldest child in my family and I know my youngest sister got away with plenty that I couldn't get away with. I always said they exercised all of their ideals and made all their mistakes on me. The other two skated. hahaha

    Great blog!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Darlene...I would have to agree with you about life being easier for the baby. I had way fewer rules. I also didn't rebel, felt like I could probably do anything I wanted, all I had to do was ask! LOL
    Thanks for your kind words and as always for reading and sharing. :)

    ReplyDelete
  25. thanks for sharing... i, too, just posted a blog about my mom... a moment from her youth... fun to listen to her memories...

    thanks for visiting my blog....

    ReplyDelete
  26. Danneromero...I love hearing my mom talk about her past. The good, the bad and the funny! Thanks for sharing!

    ReplyDelete

I really want to know that YOU were here...please drop me a note or just say Hi ~ I do love a comment and it keeps me motivated!

You write and I will answer. Eventually. Show the love!