Following three showings of our home over the week-end, I am both excited and concerned. The realtor is confused because only one person has suggested the price could come down, so she'll wait for a while. The other "buyers" feel it's priced to sell. I know it's priced where we need it to be in order to move with Momma and find suitable houses in our new destination, Ormond Beach, FL.
ABSOLUTELY determined to stay another winter if our price can't be met. Momma can move in here at the end of our contract to sell and we'll just settle in. That isn't a horrible thing, but just means probably two moves for her and her furniture will have to go to storage, I think.
We had a house full of kids and grandkids last week and hosted a Fourth Party for around 50 or more of our Heroux family. Now that they've all gone back to their own homes and lives, it's very quiet here and as always, a little depressing. Having our quiet, routine life back is a bit comfortable and still a bit too quiet for the first week or so that they aren't here. I really miss them.
Keeping the house ready to show isn't an issue at all, but keeping us out of here for an hour or two with the dogs in the very hot summer has been annoying. We are spending more money in gas to keep the car running to keep puppies cool than we usually spend in a month! All part of wanting to sell during what we feel is the best time to showcase this resort type backyard. Maybe we should showcase the extra lot to the east as a winter wonderland for snowmobiling instead.
Mentally making a list of things to improve if we reach the end of this contract without a sale. All the time hoping we don't need to do that.
Noticing a lot of self-improvement posts the last couple of weeks on my news feed. You know, losing weight, exercising, eating healthier, new hair styles and clothing lines all directed at "looking"
better or different. I am always amused by these. I am looking at 65 in my very near future and I simply don't care if I'm "all that" anymore. I honestly don't. I care that I'm healthy. I care that I stay active enough to take care of the things I need to do, but the whole size zero jeans, cut to my navel tops or flappy upper arms...don't care. I have lots of old lady skin. Lots! I don't like it, but it's mine so I don't look at it. I cover it up a lot because I don't want to see it. I don't do make-up hardly ever because I don't want to. I wear my hair as simply as I can and still not cringe when I pass a mirror, but it's far from stylish or current. It's just me. I have been wondering at what point in my life did I actually get this way? I can't remember now, but I know it was gradual. I didn't wake up one day and just start buying clothes that are comfortable over clothes that are cool. For the record, Momma isn't there yet. She still cares a LOT about how she looks. Hair must be done. Clothes must be matched and by her standards, in style.
Done thinking for now...happy Monday people! If you want to be loved...you gotta love. ❤️
Jo
Monday, July 14, 2014
Tuesday, June 17, 2014
RELOCATION
Back in the fall of 2013 Roomy and I decided to travel to the south and seek an area for retirement. We hoped to be ready for a move in another year. So the plan was to look around the Georgia and Florida border area and maybe some warmer parts of Florida and then up through Atlanta on the way home. We were just looking for a town or county or general location. Since my mom is 91 now and still living in her own apartment, we were thinking a duplex or in-law suite would be perfect. We were planning for her comfort and safety. She seemed okay with the move, in theory. Though reminding me that she might not be a part of the move because who knows how many days she has left, she never indicated that it would not be a good thing. So we proceeded.
The trip was concluded when we found Ormond Beach, Florida. It felt like our home from the beginning of our tour. We drove around and checked parks, the inter-coastal waterway and current homes for sale. We walked. We drove. We ate. Then we headed up the Atlantic coast to St. Augustine for a visit with friends. We had found our future hometown.
Jacksonville was nice, Savannah was incredible and Atlanta was miserable. None of that mattered. We headed home.
While we were off dreaming and planning, Momma had a medical issue and my sister handled it and took care of her until we got back home. Although we cut our trip short by a week, we had found our spot and were comfortable with the choice. Momma had forgotten that she was part of the plan and declared she had no plan to move and this was all new to her. She said she would not be moving again.
Once we got home and I was able to have a good talk with her, she understood that she simply couldn't stay in the apartment alone much longer. She accepts, though isn't thrilled with, moving with us and into our home. There will not be a need for an in-law suite, just a private bedroom and bath. We're all on the same page again. We moved our plan up a year because I don't want her to have to move twice. If our house sells soon, we won't be in Michigan another winter.
The house is now on the market and showing well. The search for a home in Ormond Beach is on going. I keep a list of what's available. I will go down once this one is set to close and hopefully, we will be able to move smoothly from here to there. All three of us and two furbabies.
It's a process, but I know it's the right thing for us. I know she will be happier and healthier living in our home.
Relocation is underway and so far, things look good. I believe everything happens as it's supposed to happen and I am going along for the ride.
Jo
The trip was concluded when we found Ormond Beach, Florida. It felt like our home from the beginning of our tour. We drove around and checked parks, the inter-coastal waterway and current homes for sale. We walked. We drove. We ate. Then we headed up the Atlantic coast to St. Augustine for a visit with friends. We had found our future hometown.
Jacksonville was nice, Savannah was incredible and Atlanta was miserable. None of that mattered. We headed home.
While we were off dreaming and planning, Momma had a medical issue and my sister handled it and took care of her until we got back home. Although we cut our trip short by a week, we had found our spot and were comfortable with the choice. Momma had forgotten that she was part of the plan and declared she had no plan to move and this was all new to her. She said she would not be moving again.
Once we got home and I was able to have a good talk with her, she understood that she simply couldn't stay in the apartment alone much longer. She accepts, though isn't thrilled with, moving with us and into our home. There will not be a need for an in-law suite, just a private bedroom and bath. We're all on the same page again. We moved our plan up a year because I don't want her to have to move twice. If our house sells soon, we won't be in Michigan another winter.
The house is now on the market and showing well. The search for a home in Ormond Beach is on going. I keep a list of what's available. I will go down once this one is set to close and hopefully, we will be able to move smoothly from here to there. All three of us and two furbabies.
It's a process, but I know it's the right thing for us. I know she will be happier and healthier living in our home.
Relocation is underway and so far, things look good. I believe everything happens as it's supposed to happen and I am going along for the ride.
Jo
Thursday, May 22, 2014
SALUTE TO FAMILIES OF LOST VETERANS 2013
SALUTE TO THE FAMILIES OF VETERANS
As a country we teach our children to honor and respect our veterans and service men and women, now. It is fairly common to see someone shake a hand and say their thank you to a total stranger who is or has served. This was not true back in the Vietnam days. Their return was not met with cheers, thank you or any celebration. The nation thanked those vets by spitting on them or protesting the war as the troops arrived at any airport or train station. It was a horrid and embarrassing time in our history. Most of us have apologized and agonized over that era for many years. Some of us still do. Many of our friends and family were involved in that conflict and many didn't come home. We were not good citizens upon their return and we were not good people. For the thousandth time I would offer my own personal apology. I am so ashamed and so sorry any service person was ever treated with anything short of the highest respect and level of gratitude imaginable and I know that I was not among those who behaved in that way, but I am still human, still a citizen and therefore, share in the embarrassment and the humility for a country turning its back on you who served with honor and returned with scars. I am sorry. I am glad you returned to your families.
To the families of the Vietnam vets who have died much too early because of exposure to so many chemicals or other war injuries, my condolences and my gratitude; my condolences because though you had many years of good life after that conflict, in the end, it took your loved one. I am grateful for the freedom we enjoy because that conflict existed yet saddened by your loss. Every day.
As I look around my world today, I see families who visit the cemetery and lay wreaths, bouquets or mementos on the grave of their loved one. The loved one who gave all for their country. Those families are without a vital part of their daily lives because our country called upon them to hand over a child, husband, brother, sister, mother, father, wife or friend. The graves are a stark reminder of the price of freedom. Not one of those graves is holding a soul that expected to go to war and never return. Not one of them said good-bye to their family expecting never to see or touch them again. Yet, here they lie. Here is where the family will visit and pray for and talk to them until they join them again. Freedom is so much envied around the world and we have it. We have it because these men and women died. They left everything behind and left broken hearts all around this country so that we could continue to enjoy freedom. We don't have a dictator. We don't live in fear of speaking out against our government. We walk where and when we choose and we wave our flags with pride. These people gave their lives, they died for this.
Families are often left wondering where to use the grief. How to make a difference through their grief. How to go on without this person and not give in to despair. Why would freedom be a cause for death? How does a family, a mother, a father, a brother or sister, a child move forward after burying their serviceman/woman?
I simply don't know. I have not experienced this and refuse to judge anyone who has. Whatever helps them accept and move forward in their lives is good enough. Whatever that is because the ultimate sacrifice is not just the soldier who was buried, it's the family that wasn't.
As a mother of a Navy Vet, I can honestly tell you that I cannot imagine how all of these families get through this. I am hoping that the pride in their soldier helps. I am hoping that knowing that the lost love was doing what he/she believed in and loved, is enough. I am also hoping that everyone around them supports and strengthens them when they cannot go it alone.
I offer my deepest and most sincere condolences to every person who has buried a member of the armed forces. My heart aches for your loss and bursts with pride at the willingness and in fact, eagerness with which these young people give of themselves to protect us all and cloak us in freedom. It is nearly unfathomable to me to be in your shoes and I will not pretend to understand. I will only promise you that you and yours will be in my prayers always.
The ultimate sacrifice: giving your loved one back to God.
Dear Lord, I pray for strength, understanding and peace of heart for all who have given a loved one in battle or as an after effect of serving our nation. I pray for love to always be enough for the survivors of those who have been laid to rest in your tender care. Amen
Jo
As a country we teach our children to honor and respect our veterans and service men and women, now. It is fairly common to see someone shake a hand and say their thank you to a total stranger who is or has served. This was not true back in the Vietnam days. Their return was not met with cheers, thank you or any celebration. The nation thanked those vets by spitting on them or protesting the war as the troops arrived at any airport or train station. It was a horrid and embarrassing time in our history. Most of us have apologized and agonized over that era for many years. Some of us still do. Many of our friends and family were involved in that conflict and many didn't come home. We were not good citizens upon their return and we were not good people. For the thousandth time I would offer my own personal apology. I am so ashamed and so sorry any service person was ever treated with anything short of the highest respect and level of gratitude imaginable and I know that I was not among those who behaved in that way, but I am still human, still a citizen and therefore, share in the embarrassment and the humility for a country turning its back on you who served with honor and returned with scars. I am sorry. I am glad you returned to your families.
To the families of the Vietnam vets who have died much too early because of exposure to so many chemicals or other war injuries, my condolences and my gratitude; my condolences because though you had many years of good life after that conflict, in the end, it took your loved one. I am grateful for the freedom we enjoy because that conflict existed yet saddened by your loss. Every day.
As I look around my world today, I see families who visit the cemetery and lay wreaths, bouquets or mementos on the grave of their loved one. The loved one who gave all for their country. Those families are without a vital part of their daily lives because our country called upon them to hand over a child, husband, brother, sister, mother, father, wife or friend. The graves are a stark reminder of the price of freedom. Not one of those graves is holding a soul that expected to go to war and never return. Not one of them said good-bye to their family expecting never to see or touch them again. Yet, here they lie. Here is where the family will visit and pray for and talk to them until they join them again. Freedom is so much envied around the world and we have it. We have it because these men and women died. They left everything behind and left broken hearts all around this country so that we could continue to enjoy freedom. We don't have a dictator. We don't live in fear of speaking out against our government. We walk where and when we choose and we wave our flags with pride. These people gave their lives, they died for this.
Families are often left wondering where to use the grief. How to make a difference through their grief. How to go on without this person and not give in to despair. Why would freedom be a cause for death? How does a family, a mother, a father, a brother or sister, a child move forward after burying their serviceman/woman?
I simply don't know. I have not experienced this and refuse to judge anyone who has. Whatever helps them accept and move forward in their lives is good enough. Whatever that is because the ultimate sacrifice is not just the soldier who was buried, it's the family that wasn't.
As a mother of a Navy Vet, I can honestly tell you that I cannot imagine how all of these families get through this. I am hoping that the pride in their soldier helps. I am hoping that knowing that the lost love was doing what he/she believed in and loved, is enough. I am also hoping that everyone around them supports and strengthens them when they cannot go it alone.
I offer my deepest and most sincere condolences to every person who has buried a member of the armed forces. My heart aches for your loss and bursts with pride at the willingness and in fact, eagerness with which these young people give of themselves to protect us all and cloak us in freedom. It is nearly unfathomable to me to be in your shoes and I will not pretend to understand. I will only promise you that you and yours will be in my prayers always.
The ultimate sacrifice: giving your loved one back to God.
Dear Lord, I pray for strength, understanding and peace of heart for all who have given a loved one in battle or as an after effect of serving our nation. I pray for love to always be enough for the survivors of those who have been laid to rest in your tender care. Amen
Jo
Sunday, May 11, 2014
Mother's Day 2014
Dear Momma,
Happy Mother's Day.
Today is your 69th Mother's Day and I hope it is one of your best. I know nothing compares to the very first one and I also know that when we were small we didn't show you the love we felt because most kids just don't really get it. Now, I get it.
Today is all about whatever makes you happy. The meal I cooked, some of your favorites. The family gathered because we don't do that often. Your three kids and their spouses for lunch and gifts and laughs.
We can always count on the laughs.
Thank you, Momma, for teaching us that life is to be lived and that there is humor all around. Thanks for showing us how to be independent thinkers and how to live a life as it comes rather than by design. Sometimes God doesn't follow the plan we made and His is the one we live. Thank you for teaching us to go with that. It makes for happier and healthier choices because somehow we know that life is never to be taken for granted. Just enjoyed and shared.
I love you as only your kid can and every day I remember how blessed I am that I was given to parents who didn't exactly plan to have three babies. This number three baby is very happy to have happened!
Jo
May 11, 2014
Happy Mother's Day.
Today is your 69th Mother's Day and I hope it is one of your best. I know nothing compares to the very first one and I also know that when we were small we didn't show you the love we felt because most kids just don't really get it. Now, I get it.
Today is all about whatever makes you happy. The meal I cooked, some of your favorites. The family gathered because we don't do that often. Your three kids and their spouses for lunch and gifts and laughs.
We can always count on the laughs.
Thank you, Momma, for teaching us that life is to be lived and that there is humor all around. Thanks for showing us how to be independent thinkers and how to live a life as it comes rather than by design. Sometimes God doesn't follow the plan we made and His is the one we live. Thank you for teaching us to go with that. It makes for happier and healthier choices because somehow we know that life is never to be taken for granted. Just enjoyed and shared.
I love you as only your kid can and every day I remember how blessed I am that I was given to parents who didn't exactly plan to have three babies. This number three baby is very happy to have happened!
Jo
May 11, 2014
Thursday, May 8, 2014
Never Again
There are so many things I could say I would never do again, but there are even more thoughts I've allowed to run through my mind that I'd like to never again entertain. There are a few places I will never go again. The one thing I have to accept is that all the things I think I'd never experience again gave me something I am using in my life. I learned something from each. Or I should have.
So though I'd likely never again...I'm glad I did, sorta.
I went shopping one day and tried on a beautiful dress I thought I'd love to wear to one of our nieces wedding. It was royal blue and had a comfortable sleeve just above my elbow. The bodice was snug and the skirt flared from the waist to just below my knee. Lovely. Except when I looked in the mirror I saw something I apparently had been ignoring OR it just appeared at this moment. Old Lady Cleavage. You know. The wrinkles that flow from the turkey neck right on down to the cleavage without any smooth or sexy look at all. I had passed the sexy cleavage stage of my life and I had no idea. I will NEVER AGAIN buy a low cut anything, not because I am that vain, but because making other people gag is not my idea of fun. *sigh*
Not sure what I learned, but I am sure I accepted my aging as
just another beautiful thing about being given a few more years
on this earth.
Jo
Wednesday, April 9, 2014
SUMMER WITH OHIO FAMILY
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| The current prompt by Ariana Browning for The Blogging Lounge. |
Steubenville area, mostly, but great aunts and uncles were scattered around the state. After our move, seeing them became a big chore although some did come here to visit from time to time.
This story is about something that happened several times during our growing up years and I am sure my sister and brother, as well as my mom, have different memories of these visits, but I can only relate my own.
Sometimes someone would come to Michigan and pick us up or sometimes...
We would all five load into the car and head south to some predetermined point to meet someone from the left behind family for a big ole picnic and fun in some roadside park. Sometimes one or two of us would return to Ohio from these meet-ups for the remainder of the summer. The family we met would either be my Aunt Joan and Uncle Jim and their two daughters, Cindy and Joey or our grandparents, Dad's parents, and sometimes our Aunt Mimi who lived with them until their passing.
My brother usually went at the same time that I went and usually for a couple or three weeks. This time I was going alone for a month. I remember it because Momma had talked with me several times about how I couldn't get homesick and whine to come home because no one could bring me or come and get me until my time was up. At the end of the month the aunt and grandmother would be bringing me home. She needn't have worried because I didn't get homesick and I didn't ask to go home because I was everyone's center of attention and I loved it there.
The picnic was fun, as always, and I remember there being a stream that we waded in to keep cool while the adults sat at a picnic table and talked and laughed. I loved a picnic back then and honestly still do. It was an experience I think all kids should have. Nothing there to entertain us, just nature and family and good homemade picnic food.
My grandmother, Mom-Mom, was a short and round woman ever since I can remember. I have pictures of her in her youth and she wasn't always round, but in my lifetime, she was. She was also always very beautiful. Her hair was usually done and neat and didn't show gray until very late in her life. It was very dark brown and I don't think it was colored. I think it was perfect. She smiled a lot. I adored her laugh because it was genuine and used her whole body. She literally shook with laughter and I loved that.
The visits with them were unique because we didn't always do things or go places, though visiting those aunts and uncles were sometimes on our agenda, we just spent time together doing family stuff. Weeding the garden, or picking the vegetable. Cooking was a daily thing and she let me help and showed me how to do things her way. She talked with me if I was with her and left me to myself when I chose to be alone. She understood me and loved me. I thought all grandmothers were like her. They aren't. My mother's mother wasn't like her. She was distant and cool. She tolerated my brief visits and never invited me to spend the night. I was secretly glad of that.
Living in Mom-Mom's house along with Pop-Pop, were our two aunts. Mimi and Ede were both single and neither ever married. Mimi spent my entire visit planning things with me after work or on week-ends. Sometimes it was really fun stuff and sometimes she just took me with her to whatever she had to do, either way I liked it. The pottery stores were among my favorite memories. I loved walking through those and always buying something. Ede wasn't so much into having me around, but she did pay me to do her ironing! I liked earning money and knew I'd get to get inside the freezer to clean it out once it had defrosted during my visit and that paid well! I liked shopping with my own money even back then.
My Aunt Joan always invited me to spend a few days with her. I know now that it was to give my grandmother a break, but as a kid, I believed she enjoyed having me. Maybe both are true. I loved going there and being the older girl in the house. I loved my cousins because they were fun and very nice to me. I had other cousins on my mom's side that I also loved and spent time with and Aunt Jean and Uncle Roy were very kind to me and always made me feel very special. Uncle Roy is my mom's brother and the only member of her family that really seemed to love me. I remember these aunts and uncles as particularly loving people who welcomed this northern girl with open arms.
These trips got longer as I got older and eventually began Memorial Week-end and lasted until Labor Day week-end. They are very vivid in my mind and time I cherish with all my heart. Without these, I would not have known any of my cousins very well nor would I have had all those hours of one-on-one time with my extended family and that is a treasure I have because my family understood the value. I understand the value of family time to this day and I am quite sure it is because I had these summers in Ohio.
Jo
Friday, April 4, 2014
Turmoil ~ Blogging Lounge
A trip to the southern east side of the U.S. was our vacation destination this year. Roomy and I have talked about moving south when we retired since we first married 32 years ago. We visited South Padre Island for 4 winters and loved the Texas island life. We toyed with living there. We visited Arizona a few times and talked longingly of living there. Weather in both locations would suit us just fine year 'round, but the draw back was and remains, it is too far from where our families are. As we age our priorities have shifted to being able to return "home" in a day if an emergency were to come up. The flight would need to be affordable and reasonably convenient. Neither of those locations offer that.
That is how we came to look at and discuss Florida, Georgia and South Carolina. The trip was intended to take us through the areas of those states where we were attracted either by computer searches or recommendations by friends.
We planned nearly 3 weeks of searching. At the end of week one, a phone call notified us that Momma was going to the emergency room. She was released a few hours later and my sister had it totally under control. I talked with Momma and felt okay about staying. She seemed tired but not afraid or upset. We continued to travel, check areas of interest and visit my brother and SIL briefly. It was fun. It was relaxing. We were eager to feel "at home" somewhere as we drove and gawked. That happened almost immediately as we drove slowly through an area on the northeastern coast of Florida. (Ormond Beach, Holly Hill area.) This was our destination. We both knew it wasn't going to be better than this anywhere.
After visiting friends in St. Augustine, we continued to look around that area and around Savannah, GA. We loved our time in Savannah, but quickly determined it wasn't a place we would want to live. The towns around the city were very disappointing and to be honest, I was still thinking about what Momma was doing much more than I should have been. I can't say it detracted from our search because I felt the search was over, but we agreed to head home by way of Nashville. One day and the night with my daughter's family and then get home. It felt like time.
Turmoil. A three week vacation to scout future home sites ends in less than two full weeks because the search was over and I needed to put eyes on Momma. I knew she was physically all right, but I heard something in her conversations that was unsettling to me. Confusion, maybe depression, irritability all ringing inside my head while I tried to be excited about our future. A future which always included Momma.
The plan is to buy a house with an in-law apartment or a duplex. It was never a consideration that she wouldn't come. She had been quite happy discussing this with me just a few days before we left. Now she had no idea why I thought she would move. She wasn't moving anywhere. Totally unaware of the previous conversations. That locked in stubbornness has taken over and I'm once again in turmoil over my own life and plans.
How do you justify giving up your life plans with your husband because your mom doesn't want to leave a state where the winter makes her miserable for a year round weather in which she can sit or walk outside nearly every day? Turmoil. Going back and forth with plans inside my head. We could move and come back once a month for a couple days. Very difficult January through March, but otherwise, doable. I can just keep talking and hope she will get on board at some point again. I can just stay here until she's gone or I don't feel compelled to stay. Turmoil inside of my head and my heart. The biggest turmoil, do I just give up our wants for her wants?
We will go to our Florida home, if we live long enough, or if she softens up.
Yep, turmoil which I'm praying about.
Jo
That is how we came to look at and discuss Florida, Georgia and South Carolina. The trip was intended to take us through the areas of those states where we were attracted either by computer searches or recommendations by friends.
We planned nearly 3 weeks of searching. At the end of week one, a phone call notified us that Momma was going to the emergency room. She was released a few hours later and my sister had it totally under control. I talked with Momma and felt okay about staying. She seemed tired but not afraid or upset. We continued to travel, check areas of interest and visit my brother and SIL briefly. It was fun. It was relaxing. We were eager to feel "at home" somewhere as we drove and gawked. That happened almost immediately as we drove slowly through an area on the northeastern coast of Florida. (Ormond Beach, Holly Hill area.) This was our destination. We both knew it wasn't going to be better than this anywhere.
After visiting friends in St. Augustine, we continued to look around that area and around Savannah, GA. We loved our time in Savannah, but quickly determined it wasn't a place we would want to live. The towns around the city were very disappointing and to be honest, I was still thinking about what Momma was doing much more than I should have been. I can't say it detracted from our search because I felt the search was over, but we agreed to head home by way of Nashville. One day and the night with my daughter's family and then get home. It felt like time.
Turmoil. A three week vacation to scout future home sites ends in less than two full weeks because the search was over and I needed to put eyes on Momma. I knew she was physically all right, but I heard something in her conversations that was unsettling to me. Confusion, maybe depression, irritability all ringing inside my head while I tried to be excited about our future. A future which always included Momma.
The plan is to buy a house with an in-law apartment or a duplex. It was never a consideration that she wouldn't come. She had been quite happy discussing this with me just a few days before we left. Now she had no idea why I thought she would move. She wasn't moving anywhere. Totally unaware of the previous conversations. That locked in stubbornness has taken over and I'm once again in turmoil over my own life and plans.
How do you justify giving up your life plans with your husband because your mom doesn't want to leave a state where the winter makes her miserable for a year round weather in which she can sit or walk outside nearly every day? Turmoil. Going back and forth with plans inside my head. We could move and come back once a month for a couple days. Very difficult January through March, but otherwise, doable. I can just keep talking and hope she will get on board at some point again. I can just stay here until she's gone or I don't feel compelled to stay. Turmoil inside of my head and my heart. The biggest turmoil, do I just give up our wants for her wants?
We will go to our Florida home, if we live long enough, or if she softens up.
Yep, turmoil which I'm praying about.
Jo
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