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Sunday, February 12, 2012

Do Overs

Today is my only grandson's 3rd birthday. In a big way, our grandchildren are our do overs.  Whatever parenting mistakes we made or whatever good things we did as parents, we get to do over with their babies. I had a lot of challenges raising a son and his son is very much like he was. An out of the box thinker, others told me. I enjoy this in my grandson, Jackson, much more than I did in his father.  Isn't that odd?  *snickers*

I think of other do overs now that I have begun this little wandering mind chain of thoughts.

I find as I age, I get a lot of do overs. I forget so much that I think I am doing things for the very first time and am excited about that, until someone tells me that I have actually done this before. If they take the time to remind me of that experience, there's a 50/50 chance that I'll remember having done it.  That takes a lot of the fun out, though. I rather like doing things for the first time again.

I've gone back very recently and read all of the blogs I have posted here.  I gave myself some do overs.  I edited several of them. I found lots of things that didn't sound right, didn't look right or were not spelled right!  Yikes, Jo! I used to be a pretty good speller and was careful not to put anything out that I wasn't pretty darned sure was correct. I guess I've lost that 'eye' or I am just too lazy. Either way, I made a ton of corrections to old posts and I felt better about saving them, corrected.  You won't know, but I will.

Life doesn't really give you many do overs, so I guess I would suggest that all of us slow down a bit and think things through just a little longer before taking action. I imagine had I done that in years past, I might not have made some of the same decisions I made. I might have had an easier life or I might have made it more difficult, but I can't help but believe it would have been different. Do overs might be fun to think about, but I don't really want any as far as my life is concerned.  One little change made 40 years ago might have altered my entire life today. I'm not interested in going down that road!  

There is one thing I would do over, if I could. Three years ago tomorrow, February 13, 2009, a very dear friend of mine passed on. I would like one more long visit with him. I would like one more lunch date with him. I don't have unsaid things that he needed to hear nor do I have unanswered questions for him, but one more long lunch filled with conversation would be awesome. I know we will have time, one day. He was my writing mentor and my favorite author and my client and my friend. He was brilliant and like so many other veterans, carried emotional scars that only God could heal. It makes me happy to know those scars are now healed. He is whole and at peace with his Savior. But still, one more lunch date would have made a great do over.

Live your life every minute knowing there are no guarantees and no do overs.


Jo

46 comments:

  1. I enjoyed this and shook my head in agreement . There is no way we can do any bit of our life over. If we could then our entire life would be changed, and those we love today would never have been born.

    Great article and wonderful use of the 'word' of the week.

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    1. Thank you Sondra...I appreciate your comments. I don't want anything in my life to be different, unless we win the lottery or fall into some large bucks we forgot we had! LOL

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  2. I like the slowing down idea. I try to live slowly each day. Some days just don't let me. And like you, I'd like a do over with my brothers who have passed on....

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    1. Some days just don't allow time to regroup, so it's a great idea NOT to make big decisions on those days. Thanks and one day we'll have those one mores.

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  4. Enjoyed reading this Jo :D I agree with you that we should think through things well before doing anything.:D

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    1. Thank you so much. I love that you stop by so often. ♥

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  5. Lovely post Jo. I hope you get your lunch date, wayyyy down the line.

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    1. Me, too one day, but not too soon. Thanks Kelly. ♥

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  6. I always heard grandchildren were dividends, but do overs work too. There are a few people I'd like one more lunch with.

    Joyce
    http://joycelansky.blogspot.com/

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    1. Ya know I'm always looking for new ways to say the same old thing. LOL And I think everyone would love the one more lunch. It's something to look forward to.

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  7. I love this post, especially the last line. Please stop by my blog and pick up an award I left for you.

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    1. Thank you Kat. I will run over soon to pick it up. Can't do that from my phone and I'm now on the laptop. Very thoughtful of you. :)

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  8. Very nice Jo. I was so touched by your tribute to your friend. So glad there were no unresolved issues, just you wanting to share more time with him; that is beautiful.

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I believe everything happens for a reason and so there's no reason to change the past, but the future, is another story. Let's live!! Enjoy your day!!

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    1. We may be kindred souls Latisha. Our future is the chapter yet to be written and I plan to write some good stuff! :)

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  9. Your last paragraph struck such a chord. My late boss would have turned 63 on the 16th. He became ill in February of 2008 and passed in June of that year. I had time for loads of conversations and thought when he passed that I would have said everything I needed to - but every single day, I wish for one more chat session over coffee. Thank you saying it out loud so clearly!

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    1. It's always been my thought of my dad also. I would love to have just another day with his whit and charm. I have learned to live with the loss, but will never NOT miss him.

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  10. You nailed this Jo!! Congratulations! I have given you the 7 X 7 award because I think you are awesome and I love your site and the way you write! You may pick it up it up here!

    http://gigglingtruckerswife.blogspot.com/2012/02/7-x-7-award.html

    Kathy
    http://gigglingtruckerswife.blogspot.com/

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    1. Why Miss Kathy my sweet friend! How wonderful. I am getting two awards this week~two weeks in a row. I am so humbled and of course, thankful.
      I'll be by to collect shortly.

      ♥ you and thanks for your wonderful words always. :)

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  11. Your ending is so true, today I experienced this once more!

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    1. The loss is something we have to accept, but the missing just goes on and on. If I had that one more lunch or one more talk, I'm sure I'd beg for one more. ♥

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  12. Loved this post. Your last line really hits home. So many moments I wish I could do-over. thanks for sharing.

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    1. Do-over can mean just re-experience. Not change, just live again. ♥

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    2. You are so right Jo. Re-experience - that warms my heart. thanks.

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  13. Words of wisdom Jo. There really are no do-overs in life. (Unless you are Dr. Who of course, and have access to a time transporter) Seriously, I wouldn't change a thing either. I like who I am, and the path that brought me here was full of tiring moments! (grinZ) Why on earth would I want to repeat it, without some kind of assurance that the outcome had a benefit I am not aware of. Nice post!

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    1. Thanks k~I couldn't agree more. Once is usually enough. ♥

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  14. I love how you look at it as re-experiencing, not necessarily re-doing. Great outlook...

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  15. Yep_no changes, just doing it over. Like aging, it can be a brand new experience each time! LOL Thanks for stopping by Amy. ♥

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  16. Such wisdom. Thanks Jo. The one do over you wished for brought a tear to my eye and made me think of certain people I need to call....

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    1. I imagine we all have someone who has gone ahead that we just miss so much one more hour, day with them would be a deep desire. Spending every possible moment with those we care about does save regret.

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  17. This is a great post on do-overs because life just really doesn't allow us to go back and do them over--but that doesn't mean we can't try something a second time and try to get it right. We just learn from what we have done--and improve upon it. So sorry to hear you lost a good friend Jo-- there are a few people I'd like to go back and have a long conversation with for sure! Cheers, Jenn

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    1. Thank you Jenn. He died on Feb. 13, 2008. My grandson was born Feb. 12, 2008 in the hospital right next door to the one where my friend was dying. I visited both of them of the 12th. I met my new grandson and I said good-bye to my friend. The circle of life.

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  18. The only thing I really,really wish I could do over would be to be with my father at the very end of his life. I wasn't able to be there when he died (though I was with him all through his bout with cancer) and I'll always regret that. Now I try to be as present as possible with my older family members.

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    1. I wasn't at my dad's side either, he waited until he was alone in his room to go. I wonder if we don't get to decide that.
      Thank you for stopping by and letting me know you were here. :)

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  19. The older I get the more I am trying to slow down. I have acres of time with the kids grown (if not all flown) and yet I still clock-watch. Does it really matter if dinner isn't at 6 on the dot? No, of course not, it's just habit. So it's time to 'do-over' the way I think about leading my life. Like you, I wouldn't change it, but I might go back and edit, like you do it... just a few small things that can make all the difference :o)

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    1. Ya know, I don't think I really planned ever to slow down. I think I used to like going full steam ahead every day, but then just taking a total day off here and there and just crashing. Now I find a little everyday works so much better for my mental health and some days absolutely NOTHING. By nothing I mean writing, watching TV, reading or sitting outside just enjoying my time. Those are good days, but I don't want to do that everyday.
      The schedule thing? Yeah, I don't really have that anymore, but when Roomy is coming home from work to dinner, I do try to have it ready before 6. He's a hungry boy after work. :)
      Thanks for stopping and saying 'hey'...♥

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  20. Very nice post Jo. Nice perspective. And funny that you would enjoy the very trait about your grandson that may have challenged you once upon a time.

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    1. No Kenya, that's not funny! It's the mother's curse, "I hope you have a child just like you one day!" And they each did! :)

      Thanks for stopping and commenting. I'll see what I can do about Monday's Marketing, it looks great. Thanks for including me.

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  21. I had such a wonderful time raising my kids, and the grands are frosting on the cake. It is nice being able to love them and have fun with them like I did their parents, without being the one responsible for them. Nice gig, if you can get it. ;O)

    Oh, and there are a few lunches I'd like to have, too. Nicely done.

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    1. Yep we agree about all of that. Thank you and just for the record, I'm missing hanging with you on line, but I understand. ♥

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  22. Great post! I agree we should all slow down and think about the choices we make, the direction we're headed in. Glad you are getting the most wonderful of do-overs... GRANDCHILDREN!!! ;)

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    1. Totally correct! lol I am loving this Grand parenting thing. Our oldest is 23 and our youngest is 3 months. What a grand do-over!

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  23. Agreed - if I could have a do-over, it would be more time with someone who left this world too soon. :D

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    1. If that kind of do-over could be done, I would have such a list! Not to say the unsaid, just to be with that person again. People are just not replaceable with other people. I have so many wonderful people in my life now, but those who have gone ahead of me, each of them is so missed every single day.

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  24. Very nice, Jo! Your idea about do overs is exactly what my "new years resolutions" are all about. I know its already February, but I feel like I'm finally getting on that track of living every minute to its fullest. Nice post! :D

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    1. Yep...it's all about making it count now. Hope you're feeling a little better. Thanks for stopping by!

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