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Sunday, April 8, 2012

HOME

Home. A place, an emotion, a dream or is it just a word?


I've lived in 2 mobile homes. An apartment. Five houses. All of these since I moved out of my parents' house into the grown up world. Were each of these a home or were they just where I lived?  I think I have been extremely lucky because wherever I have hung my hat since I was a "grown up" has been my home. Each of them was filled with love and even the very temporary apartment also housed my children and what few possessions we had, so it was certainly our home. We did have to leave our dog with my girlfriend for a few months, no dogs in the apartment, but she came with us the very day we moved into our house. For me, it's a home when love lives there with you.


My house never feels as much like a  home as when the kids are here. My favorite time is when they can all be here together.  This almost never happens, but it used to happen a lot. I really, really miss those times. I feel so complete and so happy when they are all together at my house for a day, an evening, whatever they can make happen. It is my happiest time. 


Years ago we had a neighbor who used to say of her children, "They don't have much time for me. They're all so busy with their kids and their jobs, but you can be sure they'll all take the day off to come to my funeral! They'll send flowers, too."


Think about that.


I used to laugh at her saying that. Now that I am older and my children have grown up and don't live very close, I understand. If I need them, they'll come. If I invite them, they might or they might have a counter offer. I am always welcome in their homes, but I feel if they are so busy, I would be interrupting. I always think, if they are too busy to come here, where I do all the work like make a meal, clean the pool, whatever else needs to be done, how can they have time to entertain me? I'm taking time from their busy lives which apparently they don't really have. That seems not to be a good thing to do, so I seldom do it.  When I really need a grand kid fix though, I just have to do what I have to do.  


I am ready to sell this house soon. It's lovely and we have really enjoyed living here the past 13 years, but it's a lot of work with the pool and 3 acres. I would like now to be in an apartment with a pool and let someone else do all the work while I enjoy the property. Maybe a couple more years, maybe sooner. All the updates and outside landscaping we are doing is in hopes of keeping the value up in a poor housing market. We want to update the main bathroom this next winter and possibly add a bathroom to the basement level and that will be it for our updating. The end of that list.
Thinking we'll be ready to vacate in 2014, probably.


Since we moved in here we have:
*replaced the bedroom carpets
*replaced the kitchen, baths, living room, dining room and hall floors with laminate
*re-sided the outside
*replaced all windows except living room and kitchen, they were newer
*carpeted the basement
*added a 4th bedroom in the basement
*transformed wood burning fireplace to gas and added 2nd gas fireplace downstairs
*resurfaced deck
*replaced pool liner and purchased 2 new covers (this one is automatic)
*replaced the roof...twice
*rebuilt the front porch
*added Sunsetter awnings to the back decks


Those are the big things. Of course, we have painted and maintained everything inside and out and replaced garage door openers when they croaked and the furnace and a/c has had some work done, but that's all home ownership stuff.  Just maintenance.


In an apartment, we'd just call someone to get those things done.  ☺


Wherever Roomy and I live with our furbabies is home. No question about that.


Sounds kinda good to me.  ☺


Jo







39 comments:

  1. What a lovely piece Jo. I've only lived in three homes since moving out of my parents house wehn I got married. Apartment, Duplex and our current home of 26 years. Sounds like your current place is lovely and you've done a lot of projects (looks a lot like our home project list). I fully understand your desrie to downsize! When my parents moved to Florida, we each visited them, but when we all surprised them for their 60th wedding anniversary, that's when my mother said it felt most like a home to them, with all her children under the roof at once. It was a special time. Thanks for the nice memories of them on Easter. They passed three years ago and it perked me up today to think of them and our surprise visit to them.

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    1. I can promise you they were thrilled with that visit! How special.
      I'm a home is where I hang my hat kinda gal, really and if I'm happy, I'm home.
      I'm glad you enjoyed reading this and I look forward to our next chapter, home wise, that is!

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  2. Are we up to H already? Home. I've never been good with change, but every time i've moved I'ved been real quick to unpack, settle in, and surround myself with all those little odds and ends that gather dust.

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    1. I have found that I can be home anywhere. For me, it isn't a place so much as a feeling.

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  3. what a pretty spot you are on there Happy Easter and great blog post

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    1. Thanks Laura. It is nice here and I do love it. But, it is just a house and it really is a lot of work to keep it all up and we aren't getting any younger!

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  4. We have moved a few more times than you have. I have always considered home the living space where my wife is. I have lived for a while in places without her and they were never homes. We deal with the same "lack of kids and grand kids" that that you have and as you have sometimes found it difficult. As always enjoyed your writing.

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    1. It is really a matter of the world we life in now, I think. When we were raising our kids, we spent every holiday with my parents. Until they moved away and chose to come to us, we always went to their house. Mom still had Thanksgiving until she just couldn't do the work any more and then my sister took over that one. It's just not that world anymore.

      It makes me sad, but it is not something I can change, so we just go visit whether they want us or not! :)

      And yeah, home is wherever you feel at home. I can do that anywhere. I think home is where I sleep! LOL

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  5. i am tearing up.....no words...just a BIG HUG!! long one at that MUAH!

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    1. You are such a soft touch. No leakage! This isn't a sad blog, just a statement of the world in which we live now. I'll take those hugs though, every time.
      And the smooch, for sure.

      ♥ back to you with more (((hugs and smooches)))

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  6. Home is is where the heart is. In that four bedroomed home you transformed, or in an apartment where you can call somebody in to do the maintenance. Good luck in the future.

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    1. Thanks Hutt...I agree. Doesn't matter the building or in fact, the spot. No building required.

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  7. The pool picture is pretty, and it's wonderful to have the kids visit.

    Catch My Words
    http://joycelansky.blogspot.com/

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    1. It is a nice pool, but it's also a lot of work and a lot of $ over the years. Gonna enjoy the heck out of it as long as we live here, though. I do love it.

      and I do love those kids. ♥

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  8. I recently moved onto a property in serious need of work. Just the other day when I was busy judging myself about my status in life, a thought occurred to me. It really doesn't matter what kind of a house you live in; there's always going to be another project you want to do with it.

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    1. You are right. In order to maintain a house, you gotta do what needs to be done and the list seems endless, maybe it is. Another reason we are thinking home ownership days might be over for us, it's almost a sure thing. It is hard to think of leaving here some days.

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  9. Your home is lovely, but I can understand how much of a burden the upkeep can be at our age. So far, we are still able to maintain our property, but I worry about when we are older. My husband fully intends to live here until he dies. I can't even think about after...

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    1. Thank you, Darlene. We do love it here and most days I think it is time to prepare for our next step, now and then we think maybe we'll just ride it out here. Those days are becoming fewer as time passes.

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  10. Ohhhh that pool looks pretty danged inviting! I know they are a lot of work though, constant work, not the kind you can do once and leave for a few weeks LOL... unless you hire someone else to tink around with it.

    Beautiful place Jo.

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    1. The day to day work on the pool isn't a problem. I handle that easily, it's the big maintenance like the opening and closing and fixing when something isn't working that I just can't do anymore.
      I do love the look and the feel of this pool and it is the first one I have owned. I learned a lot in a big hurry when we bought this house and I have loving tended this pool since the first opening.
      I would miss it if I moved to a place that didn't have one now.

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  11. I'm with you Jo. My home is always a home when my children are home and I miss them all so much now that they're grown. I treasure the times that they're able to spend time with me but I am always happiest when all my children and grandsons are sound asleep, snuggled in under my roof, in the home they created by just being here. :)

    Great post.

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    1. I think if we were to gather in a metropolitan park it would feel like home when they all got there. ♥
      Thank you.

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    1. That makes me happy a lot! Thank you Claudia. ♥

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  13. Wherever you are Jo, your kids and Gkids will feel at home!

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    1. I hope that is always true. It's funny because my mom has only lived in her apartment for a little over 2 years and yet, it feels like home when I walk in. ♥

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  14. It seems such a shame to me for you to put all that labor and love into that house just to sell it. I understand the concept. You are trying to get the most money out of it you can. From the pictures, I think it looks breathtaking and like you have your very own oasis. Wherever you are, your kids and grandkids will feel at home because you are there.


    Kathy
    http://gigglingtruckerswife.blogspot.com/

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    1. It is a nice sort of vacation home in the summer and even fall months. Our backyard is my favorite place for sure and I spend a LOT of time there when the weather permits. But, it's the big maintenance thing. We'll be here for a couple more years, but then...we'll see.
      I hope that is right about the kiddos. ♥

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  15. Being an Army brat, I learned young to be at home in the many places we moved too. However, as I'm getting older I see that changing a bit. I hope your transition to another place goes smoothly, Jo.

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    1. I am sure it will all work as it is intended. I'll be happy wherever I am. And I'll be at home. ♥

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  16. Hi Jo,
    I've been pretty busy of late and haven't had a chance to keep up on my blog or on my reading. Thanks for your post on this topic. As one of those incredibly busy parents (of three), I can say that have parents visit is not a problem or an intrusion, it is great. The kids love the company and it means that we can visit, but still complete the tasks that need completing (helping with homework...which seems somehow more intense than when I was a middle schooler) or getting the garden ready (trying to save $$ by growing our own food) or repairing some of the holes in the wall that my boys have put there (gonna skin them alive some day...unless grandma and grandpa are here to stop me LOL).
    thanks, Mike Adams
    http://reasonable-thought.blogspot.com/

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    1. Thank you for that thoughtful explanation. On the other side of that busy coin, the grandpa here still works 40+ hours a week and his evenings are spent resting (napping) before bed. His week-ends are for chores and pass much too quickly. He does take most of one day off to just relax. He isn't keen on running around visiting all the grands, but would enjoy having them stop by very much.
      Once he isn't working, maybe things will change, but for now, I'm not dragging him 30 minutes in opposite directions to visit for a few hours on any regular basis. Now and then that is exactly what we do, but it's really a lot to ask of a man who will be 74 in the fall. I try not to ask much more of him than he is willing to offer.
      Hope there isn't any skinning alive going on! lol

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    2. I'm sorry to hear he still has to work 40+. My parents work a lot too. Times seem to have changed to be more like when my grandparents were young and parents just worked a lot to make ends meet. The Economy is thwarting us!
      thanks Jo
      --Mike Adams
      http://reasonable-thought.blogspot.com/

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  17. You have a lovely home, but I certainly understand the desire to free up your time. In reality, time is the most valuable asset we have.

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    1. That's what it's all about for me. When the time is right. ♥

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  18. Home really is where ever you choose to make it, not about the walls and ceiling and view (though having nice ones is good, too.)

    Good luck to you when you decide to make the next move.

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    1. Thanks Bev...it'll be a while and now it's a good place to hang out.

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  19. You have a beautiful home and you and your children and grandchildren are so blessed that wherever you all go it will always be home. I feel blessed too that my daughter comes around whenever I need her and my son (still at school) loves being home with me.

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    1. That's very nice of you to say. I will always be home, really. It's good to know your kids want your company. ♥

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