MY EYES ADORED YOU

So close, so close and yet so far away.

Once upon a time when I was a younger version of me, I fell madly in love with someone who liked me back. That never works. It didn't. I still think of him fondly and he didn't hurt me in the I'll-never-get-over-it kind of way. He just broke up with me. That's all. Gently and remaining friends, but not a couple thing. I had to figure out how not to be a madly in love15 year old anymore. It was not easy, but I managed to pretend I was just his friend and we had a lot of friends in common.

He was tall and handsome and such a sweet and adoring boyfriend. I thought I had it made. I thought this was the one forever guy for me. How lucky I thought I was at 15, to know I was going to be with this one forever.

Or a few months, either way. That was then and my eyes definitely adored him.

My eyes have adored a few more since then. My eyes, apparently are fickle, too.  They have adored a few with great passion for a few weeks and then not so much. They have refused to adore men who might have been just right for me. I'll never know. My eyes have led me astray a few times, too. Thinking they adored someone they really just lusted after. And they adored a few more who didn't adore me back.

When I met my husband, my eyes did not adore him. They noticed him because I nearly ran him over in a parking lot. They saw him when I entered the bar where he took refuge and looked at him while I apologized for not seeing him. They looked incredulous when they noticed he was a full 6 foot tall and a rather large man, hard to miss, but I did. My eyes saw the twinkle of his eyes as he laughed at my story and he made a comment which explains why I had to have him.

It was bowling night and my friend and I were wearing bowling shirts. He and his friend were as well. All of our shirts bore our first names on the left chest.  After a few minutes of me babbling, he interrupted to ask, "I see the left one's name is 'Jo'. What do you call the right one?"

Yes, he said that. Everyone who hears this heart warming story says, "No wonder you had to have him! What a smooth talker!"  Little did I know, that was the smoothest thing he would ever say to me. Well, so far.

Needless to say, it wasn't exactly love at first sight, though with that line, it's hard to believe, I know. I was actually meeting a man there so I excused myself after introductions were complete, and we went to our usual table and waited for my date.  At some point, I did dance with the man I'd nearly killed moments earlier, but had to leave the dance floor mid-song because my guy had arrived. Returning to our table and catching up with him and the rest of the gang, I told him the story of the near hit-and-run. He laughed.

He told me he had to go get some smokes and excused himself from the table about an hour later. I assumed he meant in his car.  Apparently he meant in Siberia. He never returned. After about an hour I was ready to call it a night, but I wanted just a little revenge and just in case he returned, I didn't want to be sitting in that chair waiting for him, so I asked the victim if he'd like to finish our dance. He did like. He asked me out while we danced and I was just mad enough to say, "Sure." We made a plan for the next evening. Did I mention that bowling nights involved alcohol? I may have had a few drinks.

I spent the next day trying to figure out how to get in touch with him to break the date. I didn't know his name, last name. I didn't want to go out with this stranger and I had no clue what kind of a man he even was. I didn't want to be alone with him and I didn't want to see him again.  I didn't have any idea how to reach him and I had given him directions to my home. What was I thinking? Why didn't I just meet him someplace? Of course, I wouldn't have gone, but he wouldn't be knocking on my door! Did  I mention the alcohol? Yeah. Stupid.

I decided to just go ahead with the date, but I would insist that we have dinner a block from my house. If it was awful or I wasn't comfortable, I could just walk home.

We had dinner. I didn't walk home. Didn't even get home until 2 a.m.  I really liked this guy and my eyes began to tolerate him. They weren't at the adoration stage yet.

We dated a lot over the next few weeks and I knew my eyes had changed their minds by the end of 3 months.  Yep, eventually, my eyes adored him. I guess they finally got it right because even as I write this and he snores sleeps about 30 feet away, these eyes still adore him.

When someone looks into the windows of your soul and the windows of their soul adore you, it's a good thing. It's forever.

And I'm really glad I couldn't find him that day.

Jo