GBE2 administrator, the distinguished Miss Beth has instructed that this week we should set a timer and write for 15 minutes without preparation or plan. Free write from the mind for 15 minutes, word purge, anger, resentment, random ramblings, whatever. While many will not post these writings, I shall decide in the next 14.5 minutes what shall be the destination of my free writing. "Post" or "Delete".
Can't help but think of the holidays and since today I turned 62, my birthday, and those things lead to looking ahead with what I may or may not have learned from my past. I always hope to learn from my mistakes and I always hope to learn from other's mistakes as well. I had several opportunities this year to learn. I made a couple of pretty monumental mistakes and I witnessed and was on the receiving end of a few more. Mistakes are not usually fatal, but they surely can cause long lasting negative effects.
I have seen one person cause so much pain and disruption with selfishness that that person is now excluded from the lives of others who once were pretty much the center of the world they shared. Selfishness, I learned is a fast track to loneliness. If one is truly selfish, being alone is the right choice. If one is just spoiled and acting selfishly, then changes need to be made quickly before being alone is the only option.
I also learned that speaking one's mind can be very helpful, if the words are chosen carefully and if not, it can be very damaging. One must choose the right words, spoken at the right time and with the right amount of love, concern and encouragement, if they are to have the desired result. That being, the person being given those words to become a better, more capable and more giving person.
I hope I learned also that giving of oneself in terms of actual face time, is essential to healthy and thriving relationships. I am not so much a magnet as I am a hand reaching out to those I hold most dear.
Time is almost up...the last thing I learned is to make every minute count. You don't have a clue how many minutes you have left...........*ding*
Jo
Great lessons for all of us. Very insightful. Happy Birthday my friend. Blessings for the new year. :D)
ReplyDeleteKat...Thanks so much. It's been a nice birthday and judging from this post, I think my head is pretty clear and rambling in a good direction! :)
ReplyDeleteHappiest year ever to you as well.
WOW you packed a lot of wisdom, pain, and healing offers into 14.5 minutes! Well done, and thank you for the glimpse into lessons learned around you. I suspect you are more of a magnet than you may think. Happy New Year!
ReplyDeleteGG...thanks so much! It's healing to read those kinds of words and it's always a healing path I seek. Happy New Year to you and yours!
ReplyDeleteYou made this free writing exercise a wonderful read... Happy birthday Jo!
ReplyDeletegreat thoughts, jo... speaking one's mind is extremely beneficial... and you do it well!.... but hey, you must have looked at the time, because you knew time was coming to an end... isn't that cheating? LOL
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday!! Great life lessons too, lots of wisdom, lots of pain but great that your hands are always open to those you hold dear!
ReplyDeleteAC...thank you. How nice! And thanks for the birthday wishes, too. It was a good one.
ReplyDeleteDaphne...Nope, I didn't know it was coming to an end, I guessed that I had been typing like 30 seconds at the beginning and then the timer went off at the end...I didn't KNOW time was about up, but there is a clock on the corner of my page and I knew approximately where I was in time and as it turned out, I was like 1/2 second off. lol I didn't cheat, I just didn't put a piece of tape over my puter clock! rotfl
ReplyDeleteAnna...thank you so much for all the kindness you send my way! My goal is to keep those arms outstretched and the palms up and open...I'm a work in progress. Thanks for the birthday wishes, too. ♥ :)
ReplyDeleteThis is very much the kind of thing that often comes from free-writing. Release. How did you feel when you were done?
ReplyDeleteBeth...To be honest, I felt like I had just discarded some lingering thoughts. I also was thinking earlier today about New Year's Resolutions, which I never do, but am going to do this year and so I think some of this came from that. I don't really have any anger inside. I seem to be able to release that easily enough. It's the hurt I have a harder time with, whether I caused it or received it. Hurt is far more difficult for me to soothe as I get older. I believe because I know there is no excuse to be mean, mean just lingers. *sigh* This is one of my resolutions! You'll see the rest when I sit and write that one!
ReplyDelete♥ ya and Happy New Year.
Hurt is harder than anger, I think, for most of us. Since it only those who matter who really have the ability to hurt us, when they do, it cuts deep.
ReplyDelete♥ you, too. Many blessings in the new year, Jo.
Nicely done Jo. Thanks for passing on the things you have learned. The more folks do just that (and the more others listen and learn),the more society improves.
ReplyDeleteNice free write. Mine is awful! I just posted my random thoughts!
ReplyDeleteAs writers, we all know that choosing words is an art form; however, I think we have the gift of time to process, push back space and edit...rethink. It is difficult to pick the right words when speaking. I admire those that are able to do that on the spot--particularly when emotions are involved. Even moreso when it is so easy to make a little dig at someone, but the greater good is to say something less hurtful that would produce a more productive end in the long run. Hard thing to do. Hope more of us are trying to be good at that instead of tearing one another down.
ReplyDeletexo. Nice job.
I also believe choosing our words is key. but being real and honest and assertive in a gently way. I have had to do that often. Life is what we make it. We are the writers of our own play called life.....
ReplyDeleteWOW you......my friend *which is also a great honor to write, are SUCH A JEWEL. (i still feel as if i am free writing) ADORE YOU!!!!!!!! muah and glad you are back with us. Pulled those arrows out of your back and all healed and pray your pillow feels JUST RIGHT! You deserve the rest ((hugs))
ReplyDeleteHappy birthday! If someone brings only negativity to your life, it is best to stay away from them.
ReplyDeleteJoyce
http://joycelansky.blogspot.com/2011/12/wordless-wednesday-pampered-chef.html
Loved the ending, very appropiate!
ReplyDeleteMike, I couldn't agree more. Thanks for reading and Happy New Year!
ReplyDeleteLinda, Thank you and I will go read yours soon, since I am home and online again! Locked out of FB for 22 more hours, but google+ is working!
Amy, Thanks for the lovely comment. One of my resolutions, which I am going to write about, now that I am home, is to be KINDER and that means a lot of thinking before speaking! Building that filter. Say what you mean, but don't be mean when you say it! :)
Laura, yep!
ReplyDeleteBrenda, Thanks Buddy! I have had some difficulty lately, but all is well, because...well, because I choose to make it that way. Everyday, I choose to ignore pain and celebrate life. I choose to be a better person than I thought I could be and I choose to not say something just because I thought it! Now, if I can just make that all work! :) ♥ you!
Joyce, I agree except when it is family. Then I think you gotta try to find a way. If all else fails, cut the string! Thanks for the birthday wishes, it was a good day...a good week in fact!
Claudia, thank you so much. When times up, you gotta go! hehehe
ReplyDeleteWOW! Facebook must have been mad at you b/c the link to this blog wouldn't work last night. I don't know what happened, but I hope it doesn't happen again. When I followed the link, it said you left Facebook!
ReplyDeleteAnyhow... I sure am glad I got to read this today. This was a really, REALLY good 15 minute free write! And you said it beautifully. I saw the need to work on this very thing in my own life about 2-3 months ago. Even thought I wrote my "resolution" blog last week, I immediately set upon correcting myself 2-3 months ago. I know that for me, the tiger came out when I entered the "anger stage" of grief after my Mother died. I was soooo mad at my Mother for not loving my sisters and I like she should have and the fact that she continually put her life at risk, which ultimately cost her own life. Anger because my sisters and I had to go to NY and deal with not only a funeral but the wreckage from the fire that took her life. That was a ton of anger mixed all up in the grief and hurt from years and years of being one of the recipients of mean spirited and careless comments from the person who should love you the most. It took three years to come to grips with the anger and hurt. I'm ashamed to say that I hurt people while I was hurting. I will regret that always.
You are awesome! I didn't see you hurt anybody, so don't blame yourself. K?