One of the most common and most often committed of the seven deadly sins could be envy. Who hasn't envied someone at some point in their life. I wonder why that is. I wonder what makes us want what someone else has or what makes us want to be someone else or live their life. I wonder why we aren't just happy for what we are and what we have. Isn't it ever enough?
I want a life of "enough". I am trying and am still totally a work in progress, to live with what I have and accept who I am. To stop wanting more or seeking better. I am hoping to understand and then implement the idea of "enough". I am good enough just as I am today. I have more than I need right now. I want that solidly pounded into my brain and part of my everyday life. I still want my life to get better as I live it. I want to always be improving who I am and I want my home to be well maintained and as maintenance free as possible. Those are not in contradiction to being enough and having enough. Those are growing and improving things.
I am talking more about seeing something someone else has or a picture of some perfect thing that I then wish to own. I am talking about seeing someone I think is beautiful and wishing I looked more like that. Knowing someone who is more patient, more loving or more intelligent and wishing I was. That is what I am working to end in my life.
What is beautiful is being who you are. What is intelligent is knowing you are enough. What is patient is accepting who you and who others are. What is loving is giving of yourself. That is where I need to be and I am getting closer. The things I see that I think I want, I am not apt to go find now. I know that I own enough things. The things I might be pursuing in the future are things that will make our house more attractive to a buyer. The pretties I see or the gadgets I think I would enjoy, I'm trying to pass up. I have enough stuff.
Simplify. That's my goal. Because Envy isn't a pretty thing and it isn't a healthy thing. It leads you to do things you know aren't right for you or your situation, but you forge ahead. Why? Because someone else has it. Or worse, you can't be happy for the person who has it because you are too irritated that you can't have it.
Ever visit a really remarkable home and then go home and feel like you live in a hovel? I used to do that. I don't now. We have a modest and cute house. It's our home. I like it here a lot. When we move out it will be to find someplace with less work attached and probably in a warmer climate. This little house is not a bargain utility wise. Our electric and heat bills are ridiculous. We will need to find a more economical place one day and that won't be because we are envious of someone else's home, it will be because we need to live within our means. Retirement means less means. But for now, it's home and it's enough.
I am enough. A work in progress, but for today, enough.
Envy thou shalt not own me.
Jo
People tend to envy others, but if they were to really think about it, or be a bug on the wall, they might realize that no one has the perfect life. For example, look at those rich movie stars who people envy. Then really look at them with their drug abuse, police records, divorces, and mental break downs. Are their rich lives really something to envy? I think not. Furthermore, I have a relative who is a movie star. He doesn't like hanging in the Hollywood scene because the people just plain aren't nice or fun to be around.
ReplyDeletehttp://joycelansky.blogspot.com
That's kind of how envy works, isn't it? You want something only to find out that something isn't better, didn't enhance you or your life. Good point, Joyce.
DeleteGood one, I need to learn these lessons too
ReplyDeleteThanks and it's a process!
DeleteEnvy is invasive and destructive. Yes, there are lots of things I want (mostly books, to be honest), lots of things I see at which my mind goes 'Oooooh, want it, now!', but I long ago learned to differentiate between want and need.
ReplyDeleteI have EVERYTHING I need. A roof over my head, a kitchen full of food, my family are doing just fine, I write and make a little money doing it, and I have the best friends. Everything else is want.
As my nan used to say 'I want doesn't get'. She meant that asking for stuff wasn't going to make it happen, but I think it's a good thought to live with. If your brain says 'I want' then the chances are your life doesn't NEED it *smile*
In a nutshell, YOU GOT IT! :)
DeleteEnvy is an awful thing and if you can't ever get a handle on it you will always be unhappy in life, and never content with what you have. I think it is human nature to be a little envious. Still when you can finally appreciate all the blessings you possess and be happy in that, then you have conquered the envy monster. Well written Jo!!
ReplyDeleteKathy
http://gigglingtruckerswife.blogspot.com
Thank you, Kathy. I might do another one later because I have one rattling around in my head, but I don't know that I will find the time and the energy to get it on paper. Wrath is my possible subject. We'll see.
DeleteAnd being happy with one's blessings is truly what this life is all about and accepting your own limitations is the icing on the cake.
Great post, Jo. Contentment comes from enjoying what you have, and not pining for what you don't have.
ReplyDeleteYou got it Paula! Thanks for reading and sharing.
DeleteGreat post! Envy is one of the most difficult things to fight against (especially as the mother of teen/tween girls). Everyone always wants what the other one has. There's never satisfaction with our own stuff.
ReplyDeleteGreat post! You're right, envy is one of the most difficult things to combat, especially as the mother of teen/tween girls. No one is ever satisfied with what they have. I try to remind my kids (and myself) that if you're looking to others for satisfaction, you'll never be happy.
ReplyDeleteAh, the double comment trick! I noticed! LOL
DeleteThank you so much. Teens do have to go through that stage, don't ya think? Where everyone is prettier and everyone has nicer things and whatever is "in" is a must have. I think that's where you teach as a parent and apparently you are doing that. Sometimes the answer is yes and sometimes no, because satisfaction with who you are will also lead to satisfaction with what you have.
Thanks for stopping and commenting and commenting! I have the moderator on because my little troll friend isn't bored with me yet. Though he/she keeps saying he/she is competely bored with my dull writing. Whatev....SPAM it.
i wonder that as well, jo.. why do we all want more, or to be like someone else... like you, i carry envy, and also like you, i know it's ridiculous to feel that way..
ReplyDeletewhen feeling envious, i find myself reflecting from within, and realize how much i have, how good things are... i'm mentally sound, and i have a great husband, and children who respect me, and value my opinion... that's more than enough...
nice writing. :)
You're right, it is way more than enough and way more than so many others have. I am in the same boat and I am honestly getting better at not being envious and really being happy for people who have much more than I and happy for people who are more beautiful than I. My problem is those who flaunt their wealth or beauty and for those, I feel pity.
DeleteThank you so much for reading and commenting.
A beautiful post about a life of enough! Knowing who you are and being who you are is enough! Loved this.:)
ReplyDeleteThank you Laila...it really is enough. Thanks for stopping and sharing.
DeleteMy mother had a saying on her fridge for years: "All I have is all I need". And she truly lived that (most of the time.:) ) It is something which I try to remember and live as well.The envy I feel lately that I work to fiight against is the envy of time. For those who have it (apparently) in large doses and for hte time I don't when I wish I had it. Not sure I've stated that clearly, but I'm working on it and finding ways to manage MY TIME better. Thanks for a great post Jo!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Amy for taking some of that precious time for me and my work. I agree the time thing is tough. You are on the right track though, don't envy that others have time, make your own.
DeleteSo true. We are never content and never see the importance of what we have, always longing for something more. My dad always said, always look at those who have less than what you have and thank the universe for treating you so well in every aspect of life. Great write up. Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteAnd thank you for stopping by and reading. I like the way your father thinks!
DeleteNot a good feeling to have - it is quite destructive. There is the way it eats at you for feeling that way, and the wanting of something that isn't yours to want.. As always, strong write.
ReplyDeleteThanks Brenda. I always appreciate your comments and I do agree. Envy can tear you up and for no good reason.
DeleteYep so true - we've all envied someone or something sometime in our life. I think I flagged the big flashy house a long time ago only because my parent's home was huge and looking after it was a pain.
ReplyDeleteNicely done Jo.
Thank you, Suzy. Lots of the things we envy turn out not to be right for us anyway, don't they? Good point.
DeleteYou summed up this particular sin rather nicely Jo. I appreciate you for just who you are... and I love your white picket fence, and clear blue pool surrounded by lush green grass. Good write!
ReplyDeleteThat lush green grass is a little less lush in this drought.
DeleteThank you k~ for all your support and kindness. My life is a bit more blessed since you came around.