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Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Sense of Self

As the sixth decade of my life unfolds, I am  comfortable with who I am. I can't do many of the physically challenging things I used to enjoy and running is something my knees prefer that I forego. A couple of years ago, that bothered me, a lot. Today, I am fine with it. I do what I can as often as I can and I accept that some days, I may not be able to do much of anything. Things hurt longer now, chores take longer now and wonderfully enough, I have more time now. So that all works out just fine. Aging is a matter of believing you can, accepting it might not be as easy as it once was and it will take longer with more breaks. I'm there.


All the moral questions I used to have are gone. I feel confident in my judgment now and I never doubt right from wrong. I know what I should do and almost always do so. When I choose not to do the right thing, I know I will pay for that choice in one way or another because karma will never allow that to go unnoticed. I see a lot more gray areas now than I did 20 years ago. I find no pleasure in or need to judge anyone else. I find empathy for people I don't even know sometimes, people who have lost their way in spite of many others trying to help. Any lost soul is sad to me now. As a younger person, that wasn't something I really thought much about or if I did, I would think they were just idiots. I understand now about addiction, about losing the ability to see a sense of one's self. I understand now about being blind to reality in order to do what feels good or removes all feeling. 


My own sense of self is very content. It is very solid and I now know me. I know what I should do; I know what I will do. I know how I feel about almost everything and I don't feel like I need to share all of my opinions with everyone. I will, if asked. I will, if someone might benefit from hearing it.


This aging thing isn't so bad, really. Some days I cannot believe how good life is now. Not every day, but most of them are filled with goodness. When the sad days come, they are difficult and they are heavy. My sense of self isn't questioned, it is what gets me through those days. 


When I write now, I just write what is in my heart or on my mind. I don't worry that it will be perfect. I don't write for the reader as much as I write for the head clearing mental health of the author with a hope that one or a hundred readers will find something they can use or needed to hear in my words.


The sixth decade of my life is a wonderful, comfortable and serene place. I'd like to stay a while longer. It's been a rough road and now it's nearly all paved. 


Jo

36 comments:

  1. "When I write now, I just write what is in my heart or on my mind. I don't worry that it will be perfect. I don't write for the reader as much as I write for the head clearing mental health of the author with a hope that one or a hundred readers will find something they can use or needed to hear in my words."

    Yep, this right about sums it all up. Writing to or about one self is either frustrating or cathartic. I like it when it is the latter.

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    1. That is so true and I agree, the latter is my preference.
      Thanks for coming by and leaving your thoughts. ♥

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  2. Age mellows one down, and like mellow wine, it makes everything so much more sweeter. In my fifties now, and I find life so rich and like a well worn jacket, so comfortable to snuggle into, even though its frayed around the edges. Lovely blog post

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    1. Thank you Phoneixritu. I agree it has to do with age. Mellow or just comfortable? Either or, I guess.

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  3. This is an awesome post Aunt Jo. I am not at the sixth decade of my life, however, I get what you are saying. I know one day I will get to that point in my life that you are at...God willing ofcourse. Some of the things you have written about, I already feel. But some of it makes me realize I have a long way to go to get to that "comfortable and serene place"...permanently. I say permanently because at 37, I can honestly say, I DO feel comfortable and serene in my life temporarily at times. I like who I am, but know there is more to learn and grow from.

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    1. You are exactly right Jeff. Being in a good place at 37 is a great start and you will find that what seems like the "big" stuff you lose your cool over now become "little" stuff that just isn't important. I often ask myself when something is upsetting me, "In a week, month or year, will this matter?" If the answer is "no" then I let it go. ♥

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  4. Great post, Jo - you have put into words the way I feel too (being in the same life decade as you). Despite the 'stiffening of the joints', one's mind becomes far more flexible somehow, so that you can (as the saying goes) change what needs changing, accept what can't be changed - and know the difference!

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    1. That is it Paula! Finally, life really is just what it is and I am fine with almost all of it. Thank you, so much. ♥

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  5. Awesome post, and I like how you have chosen to accept the things you cannot change and live to the fullest anyway! :)

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    1. Acceptance makes life almost stress free. Thanks for commenting and of course, for reading! ♥

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  6. This is awesome, and a lovely insight into you and life in that 6th decade. It is filled with so many reasons why I love ya Jo! Write for you. I like that too, and as time has went on...I do that more and more.

    Kathy
    http://gigglingtruckerswife.blogspot.com

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    1. When I am writing a story (as in working on a book) I try to just tell a story to someone who is in front of me, but when blogging, I do write for me.
      I love you, too and thanks again for sharing. ♥

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  7. This is exactly the post I wish i had written, although I wouldn't have said it nearly as eloquently. Everything you write Jo, comes from the heart and it is so evident in every word. You are the voice of reason among all us crazies! That's why we love you.

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    1. You just say the nicest things, Kat. Thank you so much. The voice of reason is not something I have been called often, well, except by ME. ♥

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  8. You sound just like I think. No one at this point in life (I too am in my sixth decade) needs or deserves to be judged or criticized for anything. We have all made mistakes, all regret something...this post really touched me. Thank you.

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    1. Thank you so much, Sharon. I agree with no one needs to be judged, we are who life made us. No excuses and no regrets. Mistakes are character builders and I only hope that forgiveness is handed out to anyone who needs it.

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  9. you gave me my first smile of the day. It was so heartwarming to read this. We do reach a comfort level within at this age. Acceptance is the golden key to happiness especially accepting self. You are a wonderful person, beautiful within. Stay blessed.

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    1. Thanks for the prayer at the end, I always welcome prayers. Also the kindest of words, possibly not deserved, but very welcomed.
      Making someone reading smile is the perfect payment for bloggers. :)

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  10. I enjoyed this post Jo, as I have enjoyed getting to know you for these past many months (has it been a year yet?). It feels like we share more of our souls when the words spill out into the world. I enjoy you... and your words.

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    1. Thank you, k~. You and I have many common views and I adore you and your extreme word selection. You always seem to find exactly the word to say what you are sharing; the mark of an exceptional writer.
      I am very blessed to have you in my life and I have no idea when we actually found each other, seems like I have known you always. In another life, perhaps?

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  11. Oh ... Jo, beautiful and thank you for sharing your wisdom with us. I loved getting to know you much more thru your writings. --I am now your newest follower.

    Take care,
    Angela

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    1. Thank you so much, Angela. Wisdom? Maybe just experience. Glad you are following. ♥

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  12. I adored reading this. I learned from it and, yet, in some ways, I also related to it. I've lived beyond my years. Perhaps my thinking isn't to where yours is, and that's okay, but I felt a kinship.

    So beautifully written...as always.

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    1. Thank you, Amy. I love writing this type of post because it makes me look inside and I like to evaluate myself from time to time. I'm doing okay and I think I'm heading in the right direction with my life. The last years will be mostly about whatever makes me happy and fulfilled. ♥

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  13. and this self...LOVES being with this person...LOL why did that just make me laugh out loud when i wrote it..because i just KNOW this person alrighty by golly by gee...with glee!

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    1. It made you laugh because you knew it would make me laugh! I loves being with you just as much. Now go draw something! ♥
      And thank you.

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  14. Great post as always. I wish we learned these things in our twenties...so much time is wasted on stupid stuff, you know? I love getting to know you!

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    1. I do know. But we need to go through our twenties and thirties and forties to learn how to enjoy our 'golden years'. Without that, our later years would probably not be so relaxed.
      Thank you for always showing me such kindness and I am loving getting to know you, too. ♥

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  15. People so often fear aging. If only they understood that the gifts that come with time are well worth the outward changes, that fear would be laid to rest. Wonderful post, Jo. Your heart shines, as always.

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    1. Thank you, Beth. I agree completely with you about the wrinkles and the thicker waist and all the other things, they are acceptable now and almost welcomed. But if a Botox coupon fell in my lap, I might try it! he he he

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  16. I hope I can find the same sort of inner calm with which to face those years, Jo. I admire you immensely for the way you have learned to accept, but not give in! xx

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    1. That is kind of the key G, don't give in, but know when to walk away and smile. Didn't Kenny Rogers sing about that? LOL
      Thank you xoxo

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  17. The contentment you feel in your life comes through in your writing and is strength for readers to draw from. Congratulations, Jo!

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    1. I appreciate that you feel my contentment and if it give someone strength to carry on, well, good deal!
      Thank you for always being so supportive. ♥

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  18. I've learnt much of this in my 5th decade and next year i will be entering my 5th...I said a long time ago I will find more health and vitality in my 5th decade than i had in my 4th....and I am on track....just a year to go...

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    1. That sounds good to me. Thanks for stopping and sharing. ♥

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