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Sunday, November 6, 2011

Nature vs Nurture

Nature vs Nurture
GBE2 #25

I have small feet and hands because my genes aligned in such a way that I was given the hands and feet of a much smaller person than I turned out to be.  I have brown eyes because, or so my Dad told me, I am full of shit.  I suppose those are both 'nature' things.  Much like my mom, I have a love of home.  I like being here and I like making it look pleasing to my eye and clean enough to be healthy.  I believe that is 'nurture'.  I believe that because I was nurtured in that environment, I now feel at home when I create one similar to where I became me.

I love animals. Some of them I like to have roam freely inside my home and some of them I like to admire in their own natural habitats.  But I like them all. Is that in my genetic make-up or did I learn that?

I love to read and will literally spend hours lost in a book.  My sister reads, my brother reads and my mom reads. Nature?  Nurture?

It's all very confusing to my wandering mind, but I am clear about a few things.  I know that I was nurtured in a clean and organized home.  I was nurtured by people who liked having a dog roam around the house and didn't care for house cats.  Didn't care much for cats at all.  I have had many house cats over the years, but don't currently have one.  We do live with 2 dogs who let us live here.  I was nurtured by a woman who never mistreated an animal but wasn't attracted to them and didn't feel obligated to feed wild birds, though she enjoyed watching them flit around outside.  In later years, she did indeed hang finch feeders to keep those little ones feed during the cold hard winters. And now feeds the humming birds all summer.  I have always been drawn to animals.  Wild ones, tame ones, homeless ones or my friends and families pets.  I think this is a nurturing trait.  I think I just want to 'mother' every living creature because I was well mothered and the kids are grown.  Animals don't talk back and you can kennel them.  There are laws against kenneling children, or so I hear.

My children have some similar traits to each other and to me, as well.  My daughter enjoys the kitchen and the cooking and the entertaining of friends and family.  My son loves having people over to his house to feed and hang out.  They learned that from me, I suppose, but maybe some of that is genetic.  Maybe having a certain ability in the food preparation area is genetic or 'nature'. Either way, they share this affection for food and family and friends with their mom.  My daughter sometimes looks like me, a little and that is 'nature' and something I am sure she would change, if she could!  My son, always looks like me, but has the build of his uncle on his dad's side.  I would have made a great looking man, had I been much bigger, apparently.  I think they each have their own unique look and yet I see things about them that my gene pool contributed and things their dad's gene pool gave them.  But mostly, I see things that they have developed with their own particular desires and dreams and excellent work ethics.  I will take credit for some of that and give their step-dad credit for the rest.

Does it really matter, the Nature or Nurture question?  Maybe it does.  Maybe it does because if we don't teach and nurture correctly and continually, our children will grow into whatever other influences they run across living their lives and some of those could and would be harmful or fatal.  We need to be vigilant about our nurturing all the days of our lives.  Nurturing our children well into adulthood, nurturing our parents well into their golden years and nurturing ourselves forever.  Nurturing is what makes us succeed, it's what makes us love others, be grateful for our blessings, set goals and make a plan to achieve them, show up for work when we have a job and it's what makes us contribute to society.  Nurturing is teaching each other how to grow and blossom.  Nurturing is what we do here in these writers groups.  We encourage and we help and we make suggestions so that each of us will grow as writers and as people.

Does it matter?  Well, it certainly matters that we have both, I am sure of that.

Jo


19 comments:

  1. You are right as usual. I think the nurturing is far more important that nature.

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  2. I've been tossing this topic around in my mind - not really knowing what I can do with it. You, on the other hand, did it beautifully. Nurturing is something that does come naturally to most of us women and many men.

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  3. I think life is a lot like a poker game. We're dealt certain cards based on the cards that move through the dealer's hand, but how we play those cards is up to us and depends to some extent on how well we were taught (and learned) the rules and nuances of the game.

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  4. Leigh...LOL, as usual? Well, many would debate that, but thank you. I agree what you do with what you have is the key.

    Darlene...Thank you, nurturing is natural it's just that some of us are better at showing it than others, I think.

    Angela...I do believe you got it right! Thanks for stopping and sharing!

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  5. LOL love this.......ok...........what size shoe are you..HUh?huh HUH? you princess you!! hehe

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  6. Brenda...size 6. Ring size 5. What can I say? My butt and gut do not reflect the size of my feet and hands! :) Thank you!

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  7. I agree with you. Nurturing is extremely important. You simply can't leave anything that important to chance. Great post!!

    Kathy
    http://gigglingtruckerswife.blogspot.com/

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  8. Kathy...I couldn't agree any more! We raise our kiddos with appropriate nurturing depending on the nature of the child. When it's done right, anyway! Thanks, Kathy!

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  9. THanks for reminding us that we need to nurture ourselves as well! We are continually growing!

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  10. excellent take on the subject, you are so very right, we need both....and I love how you included the writing groups, so true

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  11. Well said. Nice take on the challenge.

    Joyce
    http://joycelansky.blogspot.com

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  12. Linda...Women always forget to nurture themselves. We deserve it. Thanks for the kind words.

    Sylvie...and I couldn't talk about nurturing without including these fantastic people who write here! :) Thank you.

    Joyce...Thanks!

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  13. Great job, Jo, and I really loved your last line!

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  14. Thank you Beth. I so appreciate that you always stop by and comment so kindly!

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  15. You're right, it probably matters way less than we think. Is it important to love and guide offspring in the world? Of course. But it usually ends up as an academic exercise, when the child has already mostly formed who they're going to be.

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  16. Julie...I believe we teach morals to deal with what nature has dictated. How we teach them depends on what that natural personality gives us to work around! Thanks for stopping by and commenting.

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  17. Love it! Especially, nurturing is teaching others to grow (including our kids, no pressure). Well said!

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  18. As I was reading through your post, and saw the comment from Angela which I think is pretty spot-on, I was reminded of a documentary I watched about how there are traits in our DNA, but there is a map that lays over it that turns certain traits on or off, so it's not even enough to have it in the DNA; it needs to be triggered. (It was compared to putting a clear paper over a road map and drawing different paths to get from point A to point B - still the same essential points, but completely different way to take the journey.) I can't remember the name of the movie at the moment - a friend recommended it because it was based on work with identical twins, which I have (and who are very different) so she thought I would be interested. If I come up with it, I'll be back to share.

    Anyway, good post! Thanks Jo!

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  19. Anna...Thanks! It's an awesome responsibility, but one we all tackle with great expectations.

    Alana...I would love to see that movie! DNA is really interesting to me, as well. I am always fascinated to study people and what just IS and what they CHOOSE. Thanks for stopping and sharing. And I agree, Angela brought out some great points!

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